"Don’t wanna fight me bro" - T.I.

*Oh my shiny stars! Forrest Griffin vs Anderson Silva?!



irrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtghrutghn

Oops, sorry, my head just landed on the keyboard.

Let's just say that if I had money to spend on a fight...this would be the fight.
I'm going to call it right now - Anderson Silva wins. I realize that I am picking a middleweight over a light heavyweight, but Anderson is just as big, just not as heavy. And more talented, in my humble opinion. Not that Forrest Griffin isn't talented, he is...he's just a little sloppy. I'd also like Anderson to come out to this song. It makes me a better skier - perhaps it will make him a better fighter. Not that he needs external assistance, the man is pure talent.



As I was continuing my perusing of Yahoo's main page, I came across this little diddy. What you see here is the list of Yahoo's top searches of the day April 29, 2009, as of 12:53 AM. I would first like to point out top search #1: the Swine Flu. I'm kind of tired of hearing about it. Every few hours for the last few days I have heard someone on the radio, someone on the street, a roommate, a kid walking by my window, the internet, or the TV talking about "blah blah blah swine flu blah blah blah." For frick sake people, get over it. Roughly 64 out of 304,059,724 people in America have died from it. More people have died from heart disease in the last few days than have from the swine flu. As a matter of fact, every second of every day, someone dies from heart disease. Believe it. Stop worrying about it, you fools.

I'd next like to point out top search #2: Carmen Electra, that washed up model from the late 80s/early 90s. She's 37. That is like 60 in Hollywood years. How is Carmen Electra still a hot item? How is she #2 to the supposed "leading" pandemic that is going on right now? "Well...it looks like I'm not going to die of swine flu anytime soon...gee, I wonder what Carmen Electra is up to these days." She's 37, and that makes me think that 30-60+ year old men are the ones looking her up. Goo.
Interesting facts about Carmen Electra, or should I say, Tara Leigh Patrick.
-- Grew up in Ohio and worked at King's Island (Love that place! **Crowd Oohs ...And will now forever remind me of Carmen's buns of steel. **Crowd Boos.)
-- She was in California auditioning for a girl's rap group when she met Prince who told her to change her name to Carmen Electra and do a solo album. I will admit that if Prince gave me a pseudoname I'd probably take it. Even if it was something ridiculous like Jenny Wetsizzle or Angel Shimmerthong.

I'm going to make a skip to #4: Unclaimed Money. Wow. Are we really that desperate? Or have I just been missing out this whole time on something amazing? Apparently I've been missing out. No unclaimed money for me though. Maybe you'll have better luck.

#5 is legit. I can see a bunch of immigrants looking up earthquakes to make sure their families left at home are ok.

#6: NASCAR. This one throws me for a loop. I suddenly question the average internet surfer's likes/dislikes.

So for my creative writing final, I was to bring drinks for our mini party. When I saw at the store that I had a choice between regular 7 Up and Cherry 7 Up with Antioxidants, I chose the latter. In my head, I realized that both were most likely nearly identical in nutritional value, yet my average, lazy consumer side sympathized with the desire to be healthy in the cheapest, easiest, fastest, and therefore false-ist, way. I'll admit it. I have fallen for the antioxidant trap, and apparently so has many other persons, making Antioxidants #7. I can see them now, "Now what does Antioxidants mean...?" Perhaps it's just a few more internet searches away before we all catch on, and the food companies will stop making bank off their one phrase "rich with antioxidants" on everything. I am pretty sure I saw icecream, cherry 7 Up, Windex and toilet paper with that phrase on the wrappers. I'm not falling for it anymore.

Child Obesity: #8. It's true. Our kids are fat. Apparently the great Obesity epidemic isn't over. (Warning: The video link is kinda dirrrttyy. Comedians can be sometimes.)

#10: Used RVS. I thought they stopped making them. Maybe that's why used ones are being searched out. Maybe those companies need to start making them again. Maybe RVS are the future.

So. What I've gathered is today's top web searchers consisted of a population of sex-driven men, most likely 30+ years old who are worried about their chances of getting the swine flu, (but really what carmen's doing in her spare time), becoming unsatisfied with how washed up she is and then looking for unclaimed money (because we're all broke nowadays anyway and in order to get a used RV for the the next NASCAR race extra cash would be helpful), all while listening to Ben Folds and making sure they're caught up on the latest gossip about Britney Spear's little sister for that long drive with their daughter, and information about Antioxidants and the latest on Mexico earthquakes (as reassurance that Grandma is ok) for when they need to talk to their wife when their daughter is awake, and Obesity when she's asleep in the back.


*Editor's note: I dedicate this post to Meg and Alex, who both pressed that I blog before sleepy.
**To be read as sound effects.

"It's official I'm official" - Lupe Fiasco

Just another kid with a Bachelor's in psychology, just switchin' it up.

"Ain't no sunshine" - Bill Withers (and now DMX)

So. I switched some things up on the ol' blog, could you tell?

I think it's partly because I am not in a happy mood.

I don't have much to say. Tonight I made the decision to catch up on UFC. I went to Throwdown, expecting to see my man, Anderson Silva, finish off--as in a TKO...as in a submission at least...as in actually fighting--his 9th UFC competitor, making his a flawless continued streak of victories, but no...no no. I have no comment really. Read for yourself. I will say this though: there is no reason this fight should have gone to decision. In the 30 min. that Silva wasted, he could have taken out Dan Hendersen three times over. This picture of Silva was definitely NOT from tonight. Nothing remotely close to this shot happened. In fact, the most redeeming part of this "fight," sadly enough, was Silva's entrance song, "Ain't No Sunshine." His was a DMX remix, naturally. You won't see a fighter coming out to Bill Withers, let alone a love song, no matter how bizarre the fighter. There have been some classic surprises though: BJ Penn UFC 94 - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, Jeff Monson UFC 65 - John Lennon's "Imagine", and how can we forget Ed Herman UFC 72 - Phil Collin's "In the Air Tonight".
But since I can't find an online mp3 of the DMX remix, I'll just give you the better Bill Withers version.
(The link works now.)

"Can you imagine us years from today? ...How terribly strange to be seventy." - Simon and Garfunkel

I don't know what it is, but I am on a kick right now with my notes from classes. Today we talked about a lot about different neuropsych tests, one of which was about the placebo effect. There was a pretty famous study done in Florida, known as The Balloon Study. It involved inserting balloons into people's rears and then blowing them up. The participants were divided into 2 groups, 1 that was given an analgesic (because it hurts), and the other a placebo. Apparently a good number of the people who got the placebo felt no pain. FYI: your frontal lobe is the main part of the brain that processes placebo analgesics, so that's the part of your brain that convinces the rest of your body you are actually getting an analgesic when you're not. It should be noted that participants got $100. Would you do it for $100?
The whole idea of a placebo is so intriguing. It's the ultimate example of the old phrase, "if you put your mind to it, you can do anything." In fact, the placebo effect is so powerful at times, that the FDA has made it mandatory that when testing a new drug, there has to be a minimum of 2 test trials that show a significant difference between the drugged (independant) group and the placebo (control) group. It took Prozac 8 TRIALS (and a whole lot of other stuff) before they got 2 trials that were more significant than the placebo group, and therefore approved by the FDA. Let's just say that's a LOT of trial runs for a new drug that supposedly works to cure depression. I'm not pointing any fingers, I'm just saying...or am I?
I also learned today that we have what's called Natural Killer cells in our body. I don't know anything above that, but they are a good thing, and I assume they are a part of our white blood cell staff. We want them. And they increase with laughing! Growth hormone, our body's homeostasis, and blood flow also increase. Basically, laughter and processes related to our immune systems have been positively linked, which also means Keaton Jolley and Heather Baxter might be some of the healthiest human beings I have ever met. :) Way to go guys.

And now for my creative writing piece from last week. It's a little intense. A happy piece of information before I turn you loose: I graduate in 2 weeks! My parents are coming into town and I have my official job interview with Sundance next week to be a camp counselor. Also, my very first best friend, Julie, is getting married in November and asked me to be her bridesmaid! I remember we'd talk about being at each other's weddings back in the days of yore, and it's finally going to happen. Wow. I dedicate this song to her.

K here it is. I have no title.

He looked her up and down without trying to hide it. "You ain't gettin' a single drop more than anyone else, I don't care if you do have a child, you whore." She was too dignified to give a response less than grateful. At the same time, it was nothing short of painful to watch her hold her tongue. "Thank you, sir." It came out as a whisper. She turned around with one bowl after she made her lips smile and walked towards the table she had left her wanting son sitting. I wanted to give her my portion, but I was starving, too. Thank God for giving me my mother's good looks because that cook always gave me half a ladle more soup than anyone else. I set my bowl up on the metal counter and I knew all I had to do was look him in the eyes. Grease seemed to be oozing out his skin like tears. His teeth were tinted orange and I could see some missing when he'd smile at me, again not trying to hide it. Under a hairnet that seemed pointless because of all the holes in it laid his slicked black hair. His oily, pocked face and double chin reminded me of my mother's boss, the principal at our neighborhood elementary school. I didn't like him either. "Here you go," I thought I saw him pucker at me.
Coughs, clanks, and clicks filled the room. The walls vibrated with bodies moving to stay warm, to rub the itch of appetite. A human hive, humming with hunger. Slurps, sips, and sniffs. I took my time to walk to the table with the lady he called a whore and her son. I saw no smiles, except on a few children playing Peter Pan and the Lost Boys by the door. Their father rested his head on the wall, staring at the ceiling motionless. I'm positive he didn't blink for at least a minute and it made me think he could have entered a contest and won. He would have at least been a rival for Jenny. She always wins, even though she's only 6 now. She gets it from her father.
When I got to the table, careful my back was to that pig serving soup, I said quietly to the lady, "You can have some of mine." Before words could come out of her open mouth, I took my bowl and poured some of my soup into hers. Some of it spilled on the wooden table, and without missing a drop, she wiped it up with her finger; after she licked it clean, she pulled a splinter out.