G'knight *

"It's sad...but true!" - Ursula, Little Mermaid

2011-09-04T00:24:00.001-06:00

Hey guys.
I'll just come right out and say it.

I've got a new blog in honor of married blogdom. I'm kind of excited about it, actually, so just go easy on me when you see it. It's a little cheesy, a little cute, and a lot of awesome :)

smmorris.blogspot.com

Ok? see you there :)

"There's a burning in your heart..." - Death Cab for Cutie

2011-07-07T18:53:00.000-06:00

I'M MARRIED!

What the heck, right? First let me say I HAVE NOT ABANDONED YOU in this time of awesomeness in my life. In fact, I have no internet at my current residence. Yes, Seth and I are going a bit crazy because of it.

But back to wedding happenings! It was perfect. I had a fantastic bachelorette party the night before filled with sushi, mani/pedis, and drinks/dessert at Spark (thanks Blake!). Then I slept over at Sara's where we talked about whatever until I was too tired to be nervous anymore. I woke up early, showered, got my hair/makeup done, and then had enough time to sleep for 30 min in my car before walking into the temple. Seth got there after me, and holy cow did he look hot in his new suit. Mmm mmmmm...you'll see in pics later. We got our papers all signed and official, and then we went to change. The sealing was perfect - Dad did a great job. Seth was sure to write down everything he wanted us to know afterward. Yes, I cried before and after the sealing. I think the overwhelming emotion was that of awe. It felt more like a dream really, like it wasn't happening. But it was. And when I realized it was happening I just smiled. And cried some more. And so did Seth. :) I loved getting ready because I felt so pretty. My favorite part of my whole outfit was my hair. I'm so glad I went with real flowers in my hair. And thank goodness for my mom! She saved the day at least 10 times by having stuff I didn't, and knowing how to put the flowers in my hair, and running back and forth getting stuff for me. She was perfect. I LOVE YOU, Mom. :) Pictures were great, and here are just a few that Lora has yet to fix. These are the originals, so they'll probably be that much better after Lora has her way with them. By the way, if you are in need of a photographer, she comes highly recommended from us! I would have wanted her even if she wasn't my sister-in-law.

We got sealed at the Draper temple. Also, isn't my dress fantastic?! Mostly custom for super cheap! Also, my flowers were perfect. Seriously, perfect. I could not have asked for them to be better. The reception place was also perfect. I don't think I can express just how perfect everything was, so just know that I was the happiest bride ever. :) One of the best experiences at the reception was when 2 of my EFY girls came and told me how much they loved me as their counselor :) That was one of the hardest summers of my life, and they made me feel so good. One of them told me, "You were my favorite counselor, and I just wanted you to know how much you made an impact on me that summer." My heart was already a pool of happiness, but it just got deeper when I heard that. Other highlights included a few friends who flew/drove in, Seth spitting out his cake at me after I shoved it in his face, and getting to read all the well wishes from our guests. Ok, but let's be honest. We all know you're here for the pics:

If I had to pick a song for a potential soundtrack to a video or photo collection of our perfect day, it would definitely be this one:

You Are A Tourist - Death Cab For Cutie

"It's a new generation" - Jennifer Lopez

2011-05-21T06:22:00.001-06:00

I get A's when I want to. Take last semester for example. This semester I chose to get B's. However on Monday I was informed I got a D- when I was sure to be careful to calculate a B. What the heck, right? I was so confused. I think I emailed my teacher 10 times that day trying to figure out where my D- came from, and she said it was from 2 unexcused absences. 10 percentage points per absence off my final grade. Um...definition of punitive. My teacher then told me in order to pass I had to write a 20 pg paper by May 31. HA! The program director was really mean and not helpful in the slightest, so on Thursday I camped out in front of the dean's office armed with my prof's syllabus only to talk to her an hour and a half later. I proceeded to show her how my prof's math and grading were bunk, and she agreed with me. An hour later my grade was an 86%.

Boo ya.

Thanks for the lesson in "advocating for the client."

PS. Happy rapture day

"Who knows what tomorrow will bring" - R2DJ

2011-05-15T07:41:00.001-06:00

I'd just like to dedicate this post to my awesome future-husband-to-be, Seth Morris. He is so wonderfully thoughtful, unselfish, incredibly kind and patient.

Yesterday was a disaster. It all started on Friday when I only got a few hours of sleep, but woke up at 6 PM to meet Seth in Draper to see a dollar movie together. Driving for an hour to see each other really sucks, PS. It should be noted that he ended up driving 40 min while I only had to drive 20. We saw The Adjustment Bureau, which was surprisingly good. I didn't expect it to be more of a chick flick than an action movie, but it worked. After only about 4 hrs, he had to drive home while I went to my grave shift. I came home and was expecting to shower, drive to Provo, and help Annalee, Seth's sister, with pictures; next, clean our cars, make our new apartment more presentable, go look at a few mattresses on sale, and just have a really nice day overall. Unfortunately, I was called in to my second job (midwife's assistant) and had to stay in Salt Lake. The couple stayed a little longer than they were suppose to, making me stay a lot longer than expected. I got home at 3:30 PM, called Seth, and begged him to not make me drive to Provo. He let out a soft laugh, and said it's no big deal. I told him he should come up here instead, and that we could just relax at my house that night, wake up and go to church the next day. So about 20 min after, I think I should take a shower but decide I'm way too exhausted. I've been awake for almost 24 hrs at this point without eating since who knows when (which is a way too common occurrence these days), and then I get a call from my midwife place again saying there will probably be another birth later that night. I called Seth back and told him he didn't have to come, but he said he would anyway because he wanted to see me even if it was for just a little bit. He shows up after I've been asleep for an hour, and he does homework/laundry/eats dinner while I'm sound asleep for the next few hrs. At 3 AM, I finally get the call, and I wake up to find that Seth did some grocery shopping for me including a few of my favorite snacks. :) How sweet, right? He is the best. He puts up with my crazy schedule so well and I just love him for it. Our 2 nights of plans were ruined, but he managed to make it right. He does stuff like this all of the time, and I don't think I tell him enough how much it means to me. If it weren't for him, I think I would be bald by now. I couldn't ask more from anyone.

One of our favorite things to do together is go to the temple. We have gone once a week since I've been endowed. I love talking with him about the Gospel, and we'll just sit in the Celestial room for an hr after a session. I really hope we make it a priority forever. I think we've already reaped many blessings from our service. Seth finally declared a major (yay for Portuguese!) and he has a solid plan to apply for the marketing program next spring after talking with a few advisement people. He sold the Volvo as well, finally, and now we have some extra cash for schooling. He also got a couple job interviews - all of this in the same week! I'm just so grateful for his perseverance and patience. I feel like I have so much to learn from him. :) Also, I love this talk about marriage. What good advice. We read it together for scripture study this week, and committed to how we can implement some of what Elder Scott teaches. Seth and I have got so much closer since we've been engaged, and it has made all the difference. 32 more days...

"At last my love has come along..." -Etta James

2011-05-14T07:40:00.000-06:00

I know, the lyric choice for this post is so cliche right? But it's SO TRUE! Being engaged is THE BEST so far, and I can only imagine how cool being married must be. Here are a few engagement photos that my lovely sis-in-law, Lora Knight (she is still developing her website, but have a look) took of us at Sundance and around Utah lake.

I think we're kinda cute :)

Any opinions on which one should be our invite picture?

"My old Kentucky home far away..." - Stephen Foster

2011-05-07T08:11:00.002-06:00

***May 19, 2011 edit: I was close. Soldat was 3rd for most of the race at least. And was I right or was I right about the odds and the placement? The whole thing is rigged.

I really wish I was going to a Derby party in Louisville, KY today. If I was a betting woman, I'd put money on 2 horses:

Soldat: 15-1 odds

and

Archarcharch: 10-1 odds

Here's my thing with picking a Derby winner. You'd think that the favorite horse to take it all would win. They obviously have the best track record, they've competed against most of the horses in the race at previous races before, they're usually one of the best bred in the whole world for crying out loud, but...somehow the Derby winner is NEVER the favorite. What the heck, right? It just doesn't add up. Seeing as I'm a skeptic, I happen to believe that most major sports are in bed with the mafia and other polluted political rings. If you think about it, more money is paid out on the dollar with a horse who wins with greater odds. And there you have it: never pick the favorite. EVER. Usually a horse right in the middle (odds and gate placement alike) will win. Soldat and Arch have pretty close-to-the-top average range odds, with 15 and 10-1. They've both proven to ride well in dirt, mud (which is just as important), and other terrain. And, with the 2011 favorite (Uncle Mo) not in the race anymore, everyone is saying that it's anyone's race...

If you've ever seen the movies Secretariat and Seabiscuit, you know how important a good story can be towards a horse's momentum going into a race. Arch has the story, and for that reason, if you really twisted my arm...I'd pick him.

So Happy Derby! May the best horse win.

(yeah right.)

"I got da diamonds and da ice all hand set" - Paul Wall

2011-05-03T03:17:00.003-06:00

Fantastic artwork - thanks to you, miss elsputh, for bringing it to my attention. :) I really would pay to have this in my house.

Go here for more Matthew Clark paintings.

http://matthewclarkfineart.com/index.php?option=com_igallery&view=igcategory&id=1&Itemid=2

In other news, I am leaving for Ireland in 3 weeks! I'm not sure what we'll be doing there besides riding around in a car looking at beautiful green countryside, but in those boring hours I'm definitely going to imagine a huge whale tied to a balloon floating in the sky. If anyone has any good recommendations of things to do/see in Ireland, hit. me. up.

Also in other news! Paulsie is engaged!

Click on the picture for a better view

The story really is perfect. He took her to a super nice fancy restaurant, surprised her with a carriage ride, stopped to "just take a few pictures" in front of a beautiful cathedral downtown SLC, and then surprised everyone (even the random 2 guys across the street who apparently yelled, "Say yes! Say yes!" followed by obscenities AND the carriage driver who had the camera) with a *ring and a speech. I trained my brothers right, that's for sure. Yay for another wonderful addition to the Knight family!

Future Mr and Mrs Paul Knight

Speaking of engagement stories, mine was pretty great. So great that it deserves it's own post.

*Today's lyrics come from Grillz by Nelly, still one of my all time favorite rap songs, who features Paul's namesake.

"Do you love me like I love you?" - Jewel

2011-04-30T01:18:00.000-06:00

First of all, it's snowing like mad outside and it's April 30. Not that you haven't read about a million and a half posts on [fill-in-social-network-site-here] about how crazy the weather is right now in Utah, but I just want you, my reader, to know that I sympathize. I am usually that person who rejoices at snow, but that was when I could go to the slopes on any given notice. Winter is revengeful when you can't come out and play.

Second, Royal Wedding biz? Thought it was bogus until I was watching Kate Middleton in that fantastic dress, and I caught myself daydreaming I was her and marrying royalty. The whole idea of becoming a princess overwhelmed me, and I was suddenly glued to the TV. What girl didn't want to be Kate Middleton yesterday? And then I realized I am marrying royalty. The blessings of the temple are just that awesome.

I mean, the queen anne neck with a plunging V? And Prince Willy's Grandpa's tiara? And earrings symbolizing her new family crest? Can this ensemble be more appropriate? I dare say nay!

And, although the Duchess of Cambridge may have beat me on all levels as far as wedding extravagance, I am still mighty proud of my custom wedding dress which I can't wait to wear. Yes, I plan on wearing it all day long. And yes, I plan on busting it out on occasion after the big day. Doing laundry, cooking dinner, and watching TV in your wedding dress are sure to spice things up. Don't be surprised if you see me out to dinner next year and I'm wearing my wedding dress and Seth is in his suit. Ok let's be honest, he'll probably be in a t-shirt.

And third, I'm just about done with wedding plans! *Cue the Hallelujah Chorus. I just gotta pick out a cake, nail down the budget for flowers, and show up for my last 2 dress alterations. What can I say, it's a girl's life.

"I want my baby back, baby back, baby back..." - Austin Powers

2011-04-28T02:17:00.000-06:00

So at work I found this future baby photo software online...

Turns out one of my fears in life is creating ugly children. She's not so bad looking, right?!

Come on, I had to know.

Dang, does this make me a freak?

"If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris." - Anonymous

2011-04-23T01:48:00.001-06:00

This post is dedicated to my anonymous follower, lucky number 21, whoever you are.

"Am not I a fly like thee?" - Esperanza Spalding

2011-03-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

Well shoot, I forgot how much I love blogging.

I have just about had it with grave shifts, mostly because I'm not awake for my social life...

But it's been a good experience.

My internship has kept my spirits up, and they've recently endowed me with my own Job Skills class and my very own client! I was very nervous my first session, but he's a cool guy. He's 45, been homeless for the last 6 months or so, has a family that he sees occassionally (who are not homeless), has been abusing heroin mostly for the last 30 years...I'll let you know how it goes. He seems willing to get his life back, so I'm excited for his enthusiasm.

I wish I had a cool picture, but I don't. Like I said, I haven't been awake for a social life in about 6 months. BUT! I am getting my hair cut tomorrow, so I'll have to take a picture and post that one. :)

Also, new favorite artist: Esperanza Spalding. She sings this fantastic song called Little Fly. Seriously, it's music art. Art music. Musart. Sounds like Mozart...

Coincidence?

"I'm going back home to the west coast" - Coconut Records

2010-12-29T00:41:00.001-07:00

Skiing at Solitude with Seth :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

"'Cause this is Halloween" - Song I learned in Kindergarten

2010-12-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

*This was suppose to be my Halloween post. Oops. Better late than never they say. We'll see.

By the way, what happened to songs about Halloween? Why are they only sung in Kindergarten?

I'm tutoring a 4th grader obsessed with Transformers. He has some problems staying focused, organizing, etc., so we're creating a Transformers comic book together to teach him organization, directions, finishing a project, etc. He's really smart and a self-proclaimed nerd. So, naturally, I asked him what I should be for Halloween.

He said Alice in Wonderland wasn't good enough. I should be dead Alice in Wonderland who died by falling asleep and catching on fire and burning to death. So I should wear a dress with holes in it and stuff.

This kid is a genius.

"God’s kingdom has functioned in several political settings" - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

2010-11-11T04:35:00.000-07:00

Very interesting:

"...the word civilization is only used twice in the Book of Mormon (Alma 51:22 and Moro. 9:11), once when its loss is graphically described. It is impressive to note that the loss of civilization was tied to the growing immorality, not to a decline in Nephite art; and the growing anarchy was the outcropping of a decline in their capacity to love, not a decay in their architecture. The author who chronicled this decaying society commented on perversion and violence, not just the failure of the political systems to perform. The inner deficiencies of men impact on the quality of our institutions." -Elder Neal A Maxwell

Sara Morris gave me the link to this fabulous talk by Elder Maxwell from back in 1972 about his thoughts on democracy. It's definitely worth a read, and will call you to repentence if you find yourself politically apathetic. He does it with a finger pointing at himself though, so don't write it off before you read it.

"I thought I could be anything" - Tallest Man On Earth

2010-11-06T12:49:00.000-06:00

I have watched almost every episode of Grey's Anatomy. And I have never been so depressed about anything on this show than right now since Christina quit being a surgeon. I'm beside myself. That coupled with her and Meredith's friendship disintegrating, and the possibility that Meredith has early onset Alzheimer's...I'm on overload.

Whew. I feel better getting that out there.

King of Spain - Tallest Man On Earth

"All my friends know the Low Rider" - War

2010-11-06T04:25:00.000-06:00

My 6 degrees of knowing Danny Jorgensen:

I know the camera man who shot the film Andromeda Strain, who knows the original story writer Michael Crighton, who is cocktail friends with Tom Hanks, who co-starred with Kevin Bacon in Apollo 13, who was having dinner when Chuck Norris stormed the restaurant and murdered Nazis at the adjacent table and later asked for Kevin's autograph, who obviously knows Danny from previous ninja training.

Everyone should know him.

Low Rider - War

"Doctor said I'd be alright" - Tom Waits

2010-11-05T01:51:00.000-06:00

Had Me A Girl - Tom Waits

Man, what is it with newlyweds and their crafts. I have several friends that have turned into craft masters as soon as they got married. (Please see Exhibits A, B, and C.) These are women who didn't do crafts before. Or if they did, it was like one of those terrible relief society "enrichment nights" or "occassions" or whatever they're called now where they felt obligated. I am probably one of those women. (Weird - just called myself a woman?) There must be something about the marriage institution that turns a woman on to crafts.
I'm hoping my marriage turns me on to my husband.

Also, in my LSAC classes (for the billionth time, Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor), my classmates are starting to be divided by those who did hardcore drugs and those who didn't. I am grouped in the latter. I feel discrimated against because I've done no drugs and I'm Mormon, so what do I know? So lame.

I wear my BYU sweats as often as possible to class just to watch people squirm with discomfort.

"A few honest words" - Ben Sollee

2010-10-30T03:13:00.000-06:00

I walked through a town I had never seen before. Thank goodness you were there to guide me. We passed a sofa store and sat on all the couches that looked desireable. We made fun of the ones that didn't. We settled for an over-sized chair that fit us both perfectly. I loved that we chatted about everything for 2 hours.

I learned about your sense of humor, your decor fashion sense, your lack of reading non-textbooks, your passion for the outdoors, how you intentionally walk slow so you can talk to me yet you speed up to hold the door open. I learned you taste like my favorite kind of man.

"[loud ship horn]" - Shutter Island soundtrack

2010-10-23T04:38:00.000-06:00

Topics of the night: tattoos.

Whether you think it's cool or not, those are some freaking good drawings of fake bullet holes.

And Shutter Island. OMG.

"I'm feelin' so fly like a G6" - Far East Movement

2010-10-21T05:10:00.001-06:00

You'd think I have all the time in the world to blog since I'm getting paid to stay awake for 8 hrs. However, as true as this is, I have zero access to music links and picture uploads, which are my 2 constants in all of my posts. But, it's been over a month since I last blogged, and I can't take it anymore...so...I'll just recommend you songs and paste links. You'll have to do all the searching yourselves until I can figure out a way. *sigh

Tonight I made my coworker Steven watch 500 Days of Summer (I recently bought the movie to add to my collection) and I think he really liked it. We had a good time. It's all about movies these days. We watch at least 1 per night to help us stay awake and alert. (Grave shifts. Psh. Crazy, huh?) We figure we're averaging at least $15/person per movie. By the way, I spend 32 hours with Steven and only Steven every week. That's a freaking long time to be with someone alone. Tonight I told him we are going to be besties, so for the first time ever (I think) we actually talked about real stuff. I told him he had to tell me his life story. I guess he had a similar Summer Flynn story, bless his heart.

Man, how I get the jobs I get is beyond me. I've been paid to watch movies, read books, sleep, eat, ski, snowboard, play in parks, paint my nails, have BBQ's, go to dance parties, participate in volleyball tournaments, the list goes on and on with the cool things I have been paid to do. Can anyone top me? I would be surprised, honestly. I don't think I know how to have a hardworking job.

The other thing I did tonight to stay awake was look at brown boots.
I have been holding out for the perfect pair for 2 years now, and I think I'm ready to make a purchase. Here are the options:
1. http://www.shoes.com/Shopping/productdetails.aspx?catalog_name=web&pg=5108579&p=EC1183916&CMP=OTC-GoogleBase&partnerid=GoogleBase&cpc=GoogleBase&campaign=Rialto&category=W&cpckw=Rialto+Women's+Ringtrue+Boots+(Brown)&CAWELAID=413921161

2. http://www.gothamcityonline.com/Product/index.cfm?Stock=1256156&class=1437&direct

3. http://www.gothamcityonline.com/Product/index.cfm?Stock=1153790&class=1437&direct

4. http://www.gothamcityonline.com/Product/index.cfm?Stock=1152504&class=1437&direct

5. http://www.shoes.com/Shopping/productdetails.aspx?catalog_name=web&pg=5075365&p=EC1114004&CMP=OTC-GoogleBase&partnerid=GoogleBase&cpc=GoogleBase&campaign=Report&category=W&cpckw=Report+Women's+Brindle+Boots+(Brown)&CAWELAID=227958100

I need opinions, people! Right now I'm leaning towards #5.

Your song for the day:
Far East Movement - Like a G6

I am totally down with the white girl voice.
Ex. this song, anything Kesha.
*shrug/clueless face

Ps. A G6 is a super high class private jet. Surprised you didn't know that.

"Share in all the wealth" - Beach House

2010-09-13T00:16:00.001-06:00

Sara was so cool to invite us along for a lovely boat ride on Saturday! Learned how to wake surf, wakeboarded only once back to the pier in spite of time (no risks were taken, sadly), and basically partied all day. I'm thinking I need a boat one day, but until then, I'm a willing participator in other's hospitality.

KJ took some awesome pictures, featured below.

"I'm living a teenage dream" - Katy Perry

2010-09-04T03:20:00.001-06:00

So Seth and I went to Minnesota.
One thing I really love about Seth is that he lets me play with his camera, and I pretend I'm a photographer. In this game, he is usually my main subject. Good thing he is so attractive and photogenic. :)
Here are some of my favorite shots:

"We know he loves you the best" - Deerhunter

2010-09-04T02:05:00.000-06:00

Shoot, it's been a while!

A few updates:

Started school at the U, which is a totally different experience than BYU. There are pros and cons to both, but that jury is still out. The official list will come soon.
I still have no job. Ha! I am closer than ever before, and it's likely I will have one by next week.
I moved out of the blind lady's spider-infested house and moved into a friend's mom's house which is like a 1 min drive from the U. Simply put: I got the hooooook uuuuppsss.
Went to Minnesota with Seth and had a blast. Kayaking on Lake Superior was probably the coolest thing we did.
I finally went to Lake Powell, and wakeboarding is officially my new thing. It sucks liking spendy sports. I learned how to board slide the wake and to get up/flip it switch. I'm pretty proud of my few little tricks considering I've only gone 4 times. I'm reserving jumping for later.
I'm signed up for Yoga again at a legit place, and I'm very excited for it. I am going every day for a month as part of my substance abuse homework. The idea behind the assignment is learning how to complete a "treatment plan" for yourself.
The master bathroom in my house is a jetted tub, and tonight I had an extra bubbly bubble bath while I continued to read my book, Eat Pray Love, with a mud mask on my face. I mean really, luxury was my tonight.
I have a lovely playlist to share with you, based on the last couple months of music discovery. I am totally digging the retro 60's beach-y synths right now.

Summer playlist:
1. Washed Out - Feel It All Around
2. The War On Drugs - Comin' Through
3. Florence and the Machine - Dog Days Are Over
4. Beach House - Norway
5. Gamble House - Second to None
6. Deerhunter - Helicopter
7. Cocorosie - Lemonade
8. Mates of State - True Love Will Find You in the End

Summer memories:

"C'est si bon" - Eartha Kitt

2010-08-05T17:00:00.000-06:00

I just want to say that today has got be one of the best interesting days of my life.

I spent a long, calculated hour yesterday how I was going to spend today. And it's been soooo worth it.

I've looked at several housing options in the SLC area for about half the morning. Then I ate lunch with (shoutout) Mark Taylor, who is fabulously well off thanks to his incredible job/interviewing skills, and who so lovingly bestowed some tips to moi as we ate lunch a delicious little French cafe. (He also introduced me to this lovely lady as well.)

I then used those great tips in my most desired job interview, and I wasn't even nervous. I was just really happy. And I may have begged the interviewer for the job at the end, but that doesn't matter.

I then went to look at some more housing, and then discovered the SLC library. *shocked face!

I'm already in love. <3
I'm sitting at a computer station with a sweet black man to my left who says in a deep, southern accent, "mmGod bless you" every time I sneeze, which has been a lot since sitting here as I'm sure I'm allergic to the intense cologne of the old man to my right who keeps exhaling/hacking every few minutes. Literally. I can almost time him, he's so accurate. The cowboy hat and cane really do top it off.

To top off the evening, a lovely dinner/movie double date will ensue, after some more housing searches, of course.

But basically I've decided that even if this fantastic job falls through, today would have been a great day anyway.

"I won't forget anything you said" - Little Big Adventure

2010-07-31T19:23:00.000-06:00

Tonight, I had to teach an art class to a room of high school students who have been put under the supervision of The State because they chose not to be Drug Free.
Remember this growing up?

Either this campaign died after 1994, or clearly these kids didn't get the message. At any rate, going into teaching these groups, I usually have pretty high expectations of everyone hanging on every word I say and understanding me completely.
Every time I am disappointed.
Let's just say that Paper Mache turned into a flour/water eating contest for the first time in art history.

I think I'm the kind of person who expects a little bit too much out of people. Clearly.

"Shes got a crocodile smile and switchblade style" - The Constellations

2010-07-30T13:28:00.001-06:00

I hear this song playing in the background. No reason.

"This is a promise with a catch" - Mates of State (Daniel Johnston)

2010-07-20T18:20:00.020-06:00

I can't get enough of this cd.

As you may have heard, the california trip did not turn out exactly how I had planned. For example, I lost my $30 Mates of State concert tickets because our car broke down. *sigh

BUT!!!! it's ok because of this website and it's full album streaming capabilities:

http://www.matesofstate.com/splash/

Enjoy :)

Here are some pics from the trip:

The Knight family posterity

Shabu-Shabu at it's finest!

Laguna Beach for a family picnic. Jayda's first time! Also, I like my new bathing suit a lot. Good buy.

Jayda is going to be a model, most definitely. Look at that smile!

"Stand By Your Man" - Tammy Wynette

2010-07-13T02:42:00.001-06:00

Let me tell you about my inheritance.

It was about 2 years ago when I lived with a few sophomores who went wild one night and brought home *2 fish and left them on our kitchen table in your stock goldfish spherical bowl.

About 4 months later, they say, "We don't want these anymore." I being the kind hearted being that I am to all creatures (minus mosquitoes and spiders) I said of course, and promptly added them to my tall vase that holds my bamboo plant. About 2 years, several gallons of straight tap water, and a few unfed vacations later, I somehow still have *1 fish. I've never given an official name to my fish, but nicknames such as Fishy, Iron Will (to live), and Hey You have been most common.

So a couple weeks ago I'm visiting some friends who say, "Please take our 5 gal. aquarium tank." I figured, what the heck. I went to the pet store for the first time to actually consider what it would take to own a successful (and by that I mean no dead fish) aquarium. I couldn't believe all the different kinds of foods, filters, water softeners, etc. I have never had anything of the sort. I figured if I'm going to have a 5 gallon tank in my room I might as well find a friend for Fishy and hope it isn't wussy like all those other water treated fish. Lo and Behold, turns out Fishy is a male Guppy, something I didn't know until about 2 weeks ago when I found him his friend. And that's how I ended up with thissss:

What I've come to realize from my abandoned fish is that they have personalities. Really.

The following **picture explains my conclusions:

I'm just hoping for some Guppy puppies soon. :)

*The second fish soon disappeared after I put him with my bamboo plant. Trust me, all options have been explored as to where he went, and it's been concluded that either 1) my bamboo plant became carnivorous, or 2) it was abducted by aliens.
**This picture took me almost 2 hrs to compile. You should know that inscribing text on a photo is nearly impossible to do on a Mac. At least, my Mac.

"Unschooled, impetuous Simon became Peter, Apostle of faith" - President Monson

2010-06-30T01:26:00.000-06:00

"To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility." - President Monson

This talk made me feel better today about my current life circumstances. President Monson usually does. Thank God for the prophet.

"Have a wonderful life" - The Fairy King

2010-06-24T18:03:00.000-06:00

The fairy king has something to tell you.

"I am a weapon of massive consumption" - Lily Allen

2010-06-24T02:25:00.000-06:00

I just saw the movie Julie and Julia.

Not gonna lie, my hopes that one day I will be a famous-blogger-with-a-good-idea are kind of high now.
I think I may have to be married to have a successful blog though. That seems to be a major requirement...that and good Enlish *cough* English. Yeah...that was short lived.

I've definitely been away for a while, and it's definitely because things are about to get crazy at work. I was recently offered a promotion - more details once it's final - and I'm still wondering how it's going to work out. It sounds intimidating, but I think I can handle it.

Also, I have been waiting for 6 weeks to hear back about getting into the U of U this fall, and I finally got my ACCEPTANCE letter! *crowd cheers* I know, I know...it's going to be eventful. Unexplored territory. I'll be back in school for one more year, and a couple internships later I'll be on my way to doing therapy fall of 2011.

Ms. Martha Knight, LSAC.

Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
So I'm getting (got) a new job, going back to school, moving in August...things are looking up. Seth and I are still together, almost 6 months now, and he's coming with me to Los Angeles to see my brother and sister-in-law and baby niece, Jayda, who I cannot wait to see! She's almost a year now, can you believe that? I am mostly excited about using this brand new towel I bought from Target that is 6 ft x 6 ft. Fantastic for sunbathing on the beach with your 6'4" boyfriend. :)

We went camping last weekend to Yuba Lake, the only 3 days in the last 2 months that have been freezing and raining. Despite our wet and chilly setback, we managed to have a fabulous time. Here are some of our photos. I think the one of Seth is just so model-esque (candid of course). Don't tell him I posted this, he would blush.

One thing about rain is that it brings rainbows :) I know, cheesy. We all have our moments, give me a break.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the exciting job news to come, where I'll end up moving, and oh...you know...stuff. For now, enjoy my favorite song by Lily Allen.

"Another season, another reason" - Dr. John

2010-05-31T11:34:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning singing the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack.
My new favorite duet, although the lyrics are actually really sad:

Dr. John feat Rickie Lee Jones - Makin Whoopie

That boat house sure was cute.

"Can I have it?"

"Anything you want, you got it." - Roy Orbison

2010-05-30T22:40:00.001-06:00

I'm sitting here waiting for Seth to come over, 10:31 PM on Sunday. All I can do is look up love poetry. And play with font colors on my blog. I don't know what it is, but chick flicks, love songs, and poetry are more often on my mind than not. I reconnected with this song a couple weeks ago, and this poem may have changed my life. I'll be referring to this next time I'm asked to give advice to a girl who's heart has been broken.

After a While

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

"Swing on monkey bars" - Fujiya & Miyagi

2010-05-27T19:22:00.001-06:00

*This post is dedicated to my Pops.

This is us at my graduation, which is also the most recent picture I have of The Man.

So when I graduated from BYU, my parents blessed me with a new (used) computer, a Sony laptop. However, when Paul came home from his mission, he too needed a computer. Being the genius I am, I convinced my parents they should give me their brand new 24" iMac (which they never used anyway and which holds way more music than that laptop--speaking of which, check out this song and it's freaking sweet video), and I could give Paul my laptop, so they could save some money. This little scheme took almost a full year to accomplish, but alas, here I am typing away on my iMac.

As I was perusing the few files that my parents actually saved on here, I came across a really cool one: my dad's scripture journal from one of his scripture studies. Months later I am finally getting around to reading it. I was so impressed with my dad's testimony! He was called about a year ago into the Louisville Temple Presidency, and here are some of his thoughts that he titled, "What I've Learned From My New Calling."

"What Have I Learned in My New Calling?
Things I have learned previously, intellectually.
Now the Spirit has taught me with a different perspective.

The thoughts of my calling are reflected in the personal love, trust and confidence I feel from our Savior as I attend and serve in the House of The Lord. There are many more brethren in this stake who could be in my place in this calling. What I have come to realize is that the Lord has given me a learning experience that I need to help me progress. I can honestly say I am learning more about my weaknesses and my need to be more obedient. I am learning how the Lord knows each one of us and knows how best each calling helps us grow stronger and closer to Him. I wish I could have appreciated it more when I was called to be the primary teacher, the elders quorum counselor or any other myriad of callings I have had in my past. Even though I have been told that before, and I knew it intellectually before, the Spirit has driven the point home into my heart.

It is also amazing how much it costs to run a Temple. I do not mean the monetary cost alone. But I marvel at the sacrifice made by the ordinance workers and office staff that often drive for hours to serve in the temple each day. I am amazed at the volunteers, with large growing families, who clean, garden and maintain the building on their spare time. This could be interpreted as a marvelous work and a wonder! Whether the work is done for those on this side of the veil or the other, the Lord does not differentiate between His children.

As a Temple Presidency as well as the temple ordinance workers, we are taught to ensure everyone has a spiritual experience every time they come to the Temple. We treat everyone as if they are doing their best when performing the ordinances. Everyone who enters the temple should feel the same way. We need to take these principles and apply them outside the Temple. Think what the world would be like if we treated everyone outside the walls of the temple as if everything they did was their best. We would not be as judgmental, nor as quick to condemn. If we could look upon others and respect and love others as we do outside of the temple as we do inside the temple, think of how great the world would be. "

There is more, but it may be too personal. I am so grateful for good, intelligent parents who didn't give in when I tried to get away with being stupid. My dad and mom are great examples of what it means to have faith, and I can't express in words how invaluable those examples have been for me to rely on in times of self doubt. I tell you, the longer I work with my kids in state's custody, the more I am scared to be a parent.

So thanks mom and dad, for not screwing up.
And I know you're reading this, you're not fooling anyone.

"Hello Halo" - Blair

2010-05-14T00:29:00.000-06:00

You know what I really hate? Conversations that go like this:

"So do you know who's singing?"
"Um...Godsmack?"
"Ahh...no. It's Weezer."

Also, I really hope Boston goes all the way to the Finals.
Check out this song. I dig.

"I've been silent" - The Dodos

2010-05-01T15:10:00.002-06:00

So I was introduced to a new radio station in Utah - KRCL 90.9 FM. How I haven't figured that one out by now is beyond me, but alas, my life is closer to complete. The cool thing is you can LISTEN TO THEM ONLINE! And, visit their blog to check out local info and about the bands. One fine piece of information I found is the lineup for the Twilight Concert Series! AH! I can't wait. For reals, this year is going to be amazing! I am going to all, so if you see me, come say hi.

Here's the (almost) complete list:

July 8th: Modest Mouse & Avi Buffalo
July 15th: Girl Talk
July 22nd: Beirut
July 29th: New Pornographers & The Dodos
August 5th: Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
August 12th: TBD
August 19th: TBD
August 26th: She & Him

She & Him - Sweet Darlin'
Girl Talk - In Step
Beirut - Sunday Smile
New Pornographers - Your Hands (Together)
The Dodos - Fools
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings - 100 Days, 100 Nights
Avi Buffalo - What's In It For
Modest Mouse - Bucowski

"Da da da DUUUUMMMM!" - Youtube chipmunk

2010-04-23T00:42:00.000-06:00

What in the bloody hell is Earth Day and why do people care. I counted at least 10 different Facebook status updates that mentioned Earth Day, not to mention the handful of people I caught talking about it at work. I even heard a commercial about it on the radio. It's not like anyone cares about Cheesecake Day or Other Mother's Day, or Labor Day...why this obscure holiday? Pretentious? Or is it Portentous? No, wait...Panacea.

Lame.

Not lame:

"Who'd you rather be, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones?" - Metric

2010-04-17T01:42:00.000-06:00

I went to my 3rd Holi Festival this March. This year, they expected 20,000 people and they sold all 50,000 bags of chalk. I know they sold out because I was right there empty handed when they announced it. Unbelievable! Due to excellent friends, however, I was able to throw some. I'm convinced I'm losing a year of my life each time I attend due to the massive cloud of chalk and the subsequent inhaling of roughly .5 lbs of dust that follows. However, I must say the pictures make every year off my life worth it. This life I'm going for quality, not quantity.

Here are some pictures of mine and a few I particularly liked found here.

"Life's just like 1, 2, 3..." - M. Ward

2010-04-16T00:53:00.002-06:00

New favorite video of the week:

PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. - Watch original web videos.

In other news:
Utah is determined to kill me via allergies. Thus, I have discovered the ne plus ultra of allergy aids: Benedryl.

Also, I went to Alta to ski today, April 15. Latest date I've ever skied! I love my life.

As you may have guessed, I am dating someone:

Romance <3

My fealty towards the show V increases with every episode. If you haven't seen it yet, you still have a chance to catch up! Episode 7 this week.

I'm sure all of us have quixotic moments in our lives. I live in abundance. In short, I'm going to be a proctor parent starting in September. Basically it's like a more temporary foster parent. I know, right? I'm so not mature enough for that. But, before you judge too harshly, I have contemplated the matter with gravitas and sincere pondering and I think it's the right thing to do. House warming gifts are most welcome :)

I highly recommend getting 2 free podcast subscriptions to The Current Song of the Day - Minnesota Public Radio and KEXP Song of the Day (out of Seattle). Totally amazing. They changed my life. One artist/song I've been able to reconnect with is M. Ward - Never Had Nobody Like You. Yes, that is Zooey Deschanel in the background. He even came to SLC last summer for the Twilight Concert Series. He's fun. Even more fun in the band She and Him when he (M. Ward) and her (Miss Zooey) combined on more solid terms.

Last but not least on my small list of updates:

2 very enthusiastic thumbs up: Fantastic Mr. Fox (animation = incredible), Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs (surprisingly hilarious), and Sherlock Holmes (very impressed with the sound engineering).

"Oh oh, I want some more" - Neon Trees

2010-03-29T21:56:00.000-06:00

Here's to the locals:

Neon Trees - Animal

And here they are at our local hot spot, Velour. Acoustic.

You likey? Check out their album. You may hear this on the radio at some point and you don't want to feel left out.

:)

"Could you take my picture? 'Cause I won't remember" - Filter

2010-03-19T00:25:00.000-06:00

A photograph smorgasbord.

"Please don't slow me down" - The Strokes

2010-03-17T14:52:00.000-06:00

Your Wednesday, March 17, 2010 Lineup:

World at Large - Modest Mouse
Good to Sea - Pinback
Reptilia - The Strokes
Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
Where is my mind - Pixies

"The butterflys fly away..." -Miley Cyrus

2010-02-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

I call it Fish Boy. I am really enjoying my Mac's photo editing software.

And this is me with short hair. I kind of miss it. I am thinking after the ski season I am getting it cut again. Maybe not this short, but it will need a trim. I have so many split ends - it happens when your hair gets caught in your zipper. What do you think? Should I go this short again? Hmm...

Song of the day: Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

...because I made fun of some guy blaring it from his car today in the Sundance parking lot.

"Look on the bright side" - Rebelution

2010-02-18T00:44:00.000-07:00

So far, 2010 has been a lot cooler than I had forecasted.

I went off my first box and double box on a snowboard. Consequently, I know for a fact you can bruise your butt. I have a fatty black one. Debate over.
I went rock climbing for the first time about a month ago.
I can now do many pull ups with only 50 lbs supporting my weight. (started out with 80!)
I have made many new friends, especially at work (both jobs included).
Went and saw a live jazz band at a nationally recognized southern style BBQ restaurant, Pat's BBQ.
I'm getting 4 paychecks/month.
Paul Wall and I are back to being besties.
New Music! Kate Earl, Fanfarlo, Timber Timbre, Them Crooked Vultures...the list goes on.
Cool concerts seen: (Rebelution, Soja, Zion I), and a few in the works (see last post).
New favorite TV show: Modern Family.
My research group is coming to a close, AND my name will be on a dissertation and then presented to the APA board this spring at their national convention thing in CA. Ahh!
I bought a pair of powder skis and am instantly a lot better at powder skiing. It's about time.
I have a really cool boyfriend. Completely unexpected, yet fully welcome.
I've created a new vision for myself, mostly just opened up possibilities which I had previously never allowed. This one probably deserves its own post.
My testimony that Heavenly Father knows what's up just keeps getting stronger.

See? Not too bad. :)

"If we're kicking up a fuss, it's only cause we must" - Fanfarlo

2010-02-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

Ahem.
Look out for these good shows coming to SLC:
(Courtesy of The Yellow Stereo)

Fanfarlo
Feb 27th @ Urban Lounge

We Were Promised Jet Packs
Mar 5th @ Kilby Court

Vampire Weekend
Mar 18th @ In the Venue

Passion Pit
April 8th @ In the Venue

Yeasayer
April 23rd @ In the Venue

Frightened Rabbit
May 13th @ Urban Lounge

...anyone? Anyone?

"I'm looking to the sky to save me" - Foo Fighters

2010-02-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

To my fellow blog skimmers:
The following consists of some random + not-so-random thoughts on airports.

Paul, waiting for our flight back to school, 2006

Some of you know about my fascination with airports and flying. I can't say I know exactly when it started. Maybe when I was young traveling with my family.
My dad's family actually has a long history of airplanes, starting with my grandparents. Both of them worked for Eastern Airlines back in the day, my dad is an aerospace engineer, my cousin works for the TSA in Miami, and on and on. Needless to say, I feel like I know more about planes than the average person. And perhaps it's this snobbish attitude that assumes I belong in an airport more than other people that lends itself to appreciating the wild and craziness that airports contain.

Let's pretend I don't feel that way.

For me, the people are most interesting about airports. The fact that man-made contraptions are capable of going up 6 miles in the atmosphere at very high speeds and transport normal, every-day people (because when you think about it, aliens are usually the ones flying around in space craft?) to and from far away places (because us lowly humans are usually the ones creeping around in mundane spaces?) in a relatively short amount of time (why is the transporter not developed yet? scientists, we need you, don't fail us now) is nothing short of incredible; but it's the people that find themselves in these tension-filled "airports" (what a futuristic word) that make the best people watching experience anyone could ask for.

If you've ever asked me about flying before, it's possible you've heard my woes about the Vegas airport. Everything about this place gives me the creeps: the fact there are more slot machines than chairs, the oxygen bars, the alcohol bars, the endless rows of dirty magazines, the cheap lingerie store (which I am convinced is the only lingerie store in an airport), all the construction areas which are taking up even more chair spaces...and of course, the people that occupy themselves at said locations. When I get off the plane, all I can think about it keeping my eyes looking forward and claiming the first empty chair I see as it is bound to be the only empty chair within a few gates.
So I'm sitting here waiting to board, and I'm wondering what it is that makes everyone so interesting. And I think it's the fact that everyone at an airport has a goal, a destination. Everyone here has a purpose. Usually that purpose? Going somewhere. We're all just musing ourselves until we can go. A hive of human bodies trying to keep still, waiting.

Waiting. The verb implies boredom, does it not? Filling time until your plans can resume.

I'm always guessing where people are going. There are two very large black women conversing across the seats from me. Both look to be middle-aged, middle-classed, and put in the middle of an awful family situation based on what I can hear and I wonder, "How did these women meet? Are they sister-in-laws? Actual sisters? Why Vegas? Why now?" There's a young woman, probably 18-ish with a tiny young boy she's trying to hush in the corner. She yells for her mom. I have a feeling this isn't her younger brother. Then there's the lone business man sitting a seat next to me. He's wearing sneakers, dress pants, a sweater and blazer. I wonder who dresses him. He's listening to someone speak to him in his blue tooth with his arms folded and eyes pinched shut like he's trying very hard to listen. I wonder if I've ever had that expression on my face in my life when trying to listen to someone. Is he listening to his wife? No wedding band. Maybe his son? His business partner? Maybe he's getting fired over the phone? Questions seem to fill my brain faster than I can think up an answer.

In short, airports = Martha's breeding grounds for inspiration. Not only am I coming up with great characters for unwritten short stories in my head, I am also thinking about worst case scenarios. I think it may have be all the hype about security, but most of the time I mentally prepare myself to die every time I fly. I'm not scared of planes per se, I don't get butterflies, I don't freak out in any way really...I just double check to make sure I'm ready to go if the worst happens. In a calm collected way, I do my assessment: "Ok, so in case I need to get out quick, definitely don't sit next to that fat girl...or that old guy...Do sit next to that athletic built man or small child." I also secretly make friends (or enemies) with everyone on my flight. If the plane goes down, I will make sure this handful of people gets out safely first, personally assist those people, make sure the annoying man is last in line out the emergency exit...knock out that lady...share the gospel with that family in paradise...grab some extra peanuts for the huge blow-up slide ride out of the plane...the list goes on. Just in case you are ever on a flight with me, know that I have categorized you in some way or another.

I don't think I'm the only one thinking about death in an airport either. Maybe that's why a lot of people are so somber. Nevermind the weariness of traveling, being amidst strangers, or just trying hard to find some peace. They are just afraid of dying.

People of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, etc. all squished in one tiny, dirty airport, bombarded by coin slot noises, excessive advertisements, overhead speaker systems announcing flights...I think airports have to be one of the most random samples of people. If I was going to do a study where I needed a random sample of people to fill out a survey, I'd definitely go to the airport.

We're all just waiting around, anyway.

Taken on my way to LAX, about 7 AM

"Now you're here, brighten my northern sky" - Nick Drake

2010-02-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

Serendipity.

"Remember when you procrastinate you choose last" - Incubus

2010-01-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

Trying to figure out a Top 25 list from 2009 is nearly impossible. 12 months is a freaking long time. Had my ipod not been stolen some time in August, I think the task may have been easier. Regardless, I'm going to give you my top 25 songs that I still listen to regularly. (My post titles will be helping me a lot.)
Drum roll please.
In no particular order:

1. MGMT - Kids
2. Phoenix - Lisztomania
3. Bon Iver - Skinny Love
4. Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
5. Passion Pit - Cuddle Fuddle
6. *Loudon Wainwright III - Pretty Little Martha
7. Lupe Fiasco - Switch
8. *Dave Alvin - King of California
9. Wolfmother - Joker and the Thief
10. Ting Tings - Be the One
11. Incubus - Certain Shade of Green (Acoustic)
12. Chairlift - Bruises
13. Vetiver - Everyday
14. Rogue Wave - Eyes
15. Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
16. Mates of State - My Only Offer
17. Bloc Party - Banquet
18. Cut Copy - Hearts on Fire
19. *Timber Timbre - No Bold Villain
20. Iron and Wine - Flightless Bird
21. Nelly Furtado - All Good Things
22. Colbie Caillat - Fallin' For You
23. Robert Plant - All the Kings Horses
24. *These United States - I Want You to Keep Everything
25. *Them Crooked Vultures - No One Loves Me and Neither Do I

Honorable mentions:
Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage
Lykke Li - Possibility
Paper Route - Are We All Forgotten
El Perro Del Mar - Change of Heart

*not found on playlist.com
Special thanks to Paige for giving me this idea <3

"I know how to be lost in lust" - Them Crooked Vultures

2010-01-09T15:56:00.003-07:00

Drum roll please.

...The Top 50 Blogged Artists of 2009 is finally out! Brought to you by your neighborhood music blog search engine, The Hype Machine.

And, they're streaming the Top 50 Albums at this site.

Eat all the music you can at this instrumental smorgasbord.

I think I shall put together my own list of top 2009 finds soon. These boys will be on there for sure:
Them Crooked Vultures - No one loves me and neither do I

Stay tuned.

"Do me a favor, call me jerk one more time" - New Boyz

2010-01-07T00:30:00.002-07:00

Apologies for the lack of blogging in my life, reading and publishing alike. The holidays were kind of a rush with work, and I've been more social lately, I guess...?
In any case I have a story, a song, AND a video for you, entitled punks.

So I'm reading a friend's paper. A friend I respect, mostly because of his vocabulary and the IQ score that it alludes to. So imagine my surprise when I came across a GRE vocab word that he uses incorrectly. I had to do a mental double take because at first I wasn't sure.
Wait...does that word fit? No, I must have the wrong definition...no...no it definitely is used wrong in this sentence.
I tried to think of how many words he's used incorrectly that I haven't noticed. How many smiles and nods have I given while the dictionary pages flip helplessly in my head, searching for that crucial definition that ultimately changes the meaning of the entire conversation? How many times has he knowingly used a word incorrectly and watched me nod and smile like a fool pretending to know what he's talking about?
I wasn't sure if I should pay more attention to the embarrassment I was feeling of not catching possible mis-usage of words, or the satisfaction that I caught him in his perhaps too cocky use of big words.
In either case, I wanted to call him out on his mistake. How dare he use an English word improperly. I mean, anyone with less of a reputation I would dismiss the mistake as a result of flawed education or foul breeding...but he holds himself in such a way that even his extended circle, including myself, considers him a Gentleman and a Scholar.

So what did I do?

I kept my mouth shut and kept reading.
After all, he is a Gentleman.

Also, this song has grown on me over the months. I think I'm officially back into the hiphop phase of my music taste.

After you love the song, watch the video. Next time you're at a dance party and this song comes on, you'll be the center of attention instead of that nerd in the corner sipping away at your drink.

My favorite? The Reject.

"Gift giving requires a sensitive giver and receiver." - Elder Henry B. Eyring

2009-12-21T18:25:00.002-07:00

I was driving to work the other day and this talk came over my iPod. It touched me so deeply, I thought I'd share it with you, too.
It was given by Elder Henry B. Eyring back in December of 1983 at a BYU devotional. I wasn't even born yet, but these words have somehow found me anyway.
Funny how things work out - I was just pondering why I suck at giving gifts, why I never seem to be satisfied in giving presents, in which results in me giving no presents at all.

This talk addresses that very topic and more, as you might suspect.

May we all learn a little something about what real gift giving means this season :)

My mom decorates the best Christmas trees.

Merry Christmas!

Elder Eyring - Gifts of Love

"Let's here it for New York" - Jay Z

2009-12-06T00:46:00.000-07:00

I am in love with Jay Z's new song. I listen to it about 5 times a day right now. Alicia Keys' voice = eargasm. Basically I have a renewed passion to go to New York. My first time there was probably...shoot...3 years ago?

5th Avenue is pretty much amazing. Every store you can think of, including an NBA store where I bought Peter some cards. He was thrilled. We thought he'd give up card collecting, that it was just a phase...apparently not.

"If Jesus payin' LeBron, I'm payin' Dwayne Wade" - Jay Z

Then there's the naked cowboy. My only regret is not getting a picture with this man.

Central Park! Oh how beautiful I remember this place. It was covered in snow then.

And then there's the Rockefeller Center - I got to see the Christmas tree of 07 with my own eyes!

"Concrete jungle where dreams are made of"

"There's nothing you can't do, now that you're in New York"

"These streets will make you feel brand new"

"Big lights will inspire you" - Alicia Keys

"I support your decision, Martha. Come live in New York. Love always, Miss Liberty"

"I wish it was Christmas today" - Julian Casablancas

2009-12-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

Because I'm not going home for Christmas, my family had Christmas last week. I woke up "Christmas morning" singing this song.

Paul, Jayda and Me

She's just so darn cute, even when she threw up in my hair.

Paul Wall even got some quality time with Jayda. He didn't shave the whole week because of a bet, bless his heart. He still lost.

My crazy Aunt Linda and my mom before The Feast, complete with all my favorite Mom-cooked foods.

We all had a lot to eat. Even Freddy, who then took a nap on Pops.

We played lots and lots of cards, namely Euchre, the family game. Lora had to learn upon marrying Peter, and 2 years later, she's good now.

I got Popsy his favorite cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory - Banana Cream - and a funny card. He loves funny cards.

Christmas and Thanksgiving in one week was really fun. I recommend it. :)

"Life in plastic, it's fantastic" - Aqua

2009-11-26T15:42:00.001-07:00

In the beginning, there was Barbie.

She was there for my teething experiences, where I cared more about chewing on Barbie's feet than actually playing with her, and she was there when I realized Paul was not a girl and I couldn't rely on him for much if there was a ball around. She was there when I was grounded and sentenced to my room, which turned out not to be so bad with her around, and during the first signs of puberty when awkwardness overwhelmed me, she was there to remind me what I could be like in the future.
Barbie was my world until I was about 10. I wanted her limitless wardrobe, huge boobs and glossy blonde hair, her big sparkly eyes and perfect smile. She was friendly with everyone, not discriminatory (all ethnicities represented by the mid 90's), wealthy and successful (did you see the Barbie dream house?), and whatever other personality trait you bothered to infuse into her plastic being (see Barbie Collecting Online for all corresponding options).
She was in essence my idol.
Fortunately, somewhere in my first 10 years of life I made 4 friends who were just as Barbie crazy as I was. Eventually she became a venue where me and those 4 could express ourselves in different situations. We could make her do anything, and if it was unconventional, wrong, or right for that matter, we'd test it out first with her. Afterall, it was Barbie acting out, not us. She was so many things for me over the years, and I miss her for that. In honor of the holidays, I'm grateful my parents introduced me to Barbie at such a young, impressionable age.
Me and the 4 created so many memories with Barbie, it's hard to know where to start.
There were times when we'd stay up all night dressing her up, brushing her hair, and creating the most elaborate story lines that I'm sure we could have rivaled The Bold and The Beautiful in intrigue.
There were the times I ignored playing outside with my friends because I wanted to dress up Barbie instead.
Then, the time I was jealous of my friends because they had more Barbie clothes than I did.
Or, the time when I stole some of those outfits, and when confronted about it, said they had left them over at my house.
The time when I accidentally cut off the hair to my favorite Barbie and then realized it wouldn't grow back. And I cried.

I owned the blonde, of course.

The time I shaved my Barbie's head because I wanted to.
The time we discovered how babies were made and suddenly Barbie and Ken were doing it all day long.
The time when Barbie found herself pregnant with a cotton ball stuck up her skanky dress of the day.
The time when Skipper became the pregnant teenager and her boyfriend, Ken Jr., ran away with her best friend. Prick.
The time when Barbie's red corvette accidentally ran over her best friend because she was jealous of her. I forgot why. Theresa never forgave her.
The time when we spent hours creating our Barbie houses in my room and then decided we were too tired to bother with the storyline.
The time I threw a Barbie at Paul's head because he ate the last of the golden grahams. Prick.
The time Peter stole my favorite Barbie to play a joke on me, and I stole his favorite basketball cards to get him back. Prick + 1/2.
The time when Mermaid Barbie was the best thing that happened to bath time:

Her hair changes color in warm water!

The time when I heard Barbie protesters had made a big enough argument against her so-called "unrealistic image," and Barbie came out of the factories looking more like...me: flat chested, bigger hips, and shorter. I could have cried. My idol as I knew her would never be the same.

The real question is, "Has the 'downsizing' of Barbie helped in preserving little girls' body images?" I'd like to see some statistics. I'm curious if Barbie ever really did anything to anyone's image of themselves. I'm thinking it didn't. And I'm thinking Mattel has made a huge mistake.
I don't know, just a thought.
But I do know this: once Barbie changed, I changed (circa 1996).

Oldest Barbie (1989) I still have tucked away for my future little girl, with outfit (feet still in tact).

The first Ken doll I ever owned (the one in the middle), also tucked away for safe keeping. Complete with outfit, which will go down in history as possibly worst Ken doll clothing ever.

PS. Ken's abs also took a turn for the worse when Barbie lost her boobs.

Perfect song for this post? You guessed it.

Barbie Girl by Aqua

"It's like my ipod's stuck on replay" - Sean Kingston

2009-11-20T23:59:00.001-07:00

Se tanto, que a veces creo que no se nada.

"Then she'll be a true love of mine" - Simon and Garfunkel

2009-11-16T01:09:00.002-07:00

So I saw The Graduate. Finally.

Highly enjoyable. I don't know if it's on my top 10, but I loved the cinematography.
500 Days of Summer, Simon and Garfunkel, Fight Club, The Holiday...all the references finally make sense.

Questions to those who've seen it:
1) For you, was the ending sad or happy? Probably the most provoking scene in the whole movie for me.
2) Would you classify Ben as a total creeper and a half? If so, at what point did you think so?
3) Who do you think is hotter - Mrs. or Miss Robinson? Personally, it changed for me halfway through.

Mrs.

Miss

4) Did you walk out thinking you were done listening to Scarborough Fair for a long time? Because I did.
5) Did you notice how most of the women's clothing could pass for today's fashion?
Example A:

Unfortunately, there is no Example B.

Speaking of today's fashion, I really like this:

found on etsy

"People are fragile things" - Editors

2009-11-11T00:36:00.002-07:00

So...how do you like the new blog layout? I like it. I like my new starry picture. The dashes are a nice touch. And the bullet points...let's give it up for the "spiffy-ness" of bullet points. That's the first word that came to my head, don't judge me. I like the column that goes all the way up the side. And how do you feel about my list of music blogs? I feel like I'm giving away part of my secrets to finding new music, so, take advantage before I change my mind.

Tonight I watched all the episodes of Modern Family, and the first episode of V. Both of these, along with Grey's Anatomy, are now "my shows" for this season. I figure I have my bases covered: sappy, comedy, and thriller. I have my Grey's watching buddy and my Modern family watching buddy - any takers on V? There's still time to board the ship. There's only been one episode, so it's still in the testing phase. Watch and tell me your thoughts. I have to say, I'm quite intrigued. I mean, who doesn't love an alien invasion?

I had a meeting at Sundance tonight and it was so great to see everyone! It really is a big family up there. No one has really changed much...a few haircuts, a few pants sizes, a few relationship status's...nothing too big. I'm excited for the season now more than ever. Our uniforms look sharp (and waterproof!) and hopefully there will be none of this:

sorrow

and more of this:

happiness

On my playlist this week:

Editors - Munich

Corinne Bailey Rae - Munich (cover)

Good cover? Thoughts?

"Smile like you mean it" - The Killers

2009-11-08T15:29:00.001-07:00

Courtesy of my creative compatriot and consort, KJ, whom I cherish completely, my front yard is...smiling.

Happy fall season, everyone :)

"From the outside to the inside" - Teddybears

2009-11-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

As I was eating my breakfast this morning, I came across this:

Fruit Intestines

and this:

Radiohead's blog?

Thom boy suggested that we listen to this song.

Happy 100th Post for me.

:)

"La la la la la-la..." - Tchaikovsky

2009-11-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

Remember, remember the fifth of November,

The gunpowder treason and plot,

I know of no reason

Why the gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.

Sincerely,

Guy Fawkes

"Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts" - Ingrid Michaelson

2009-10-31T00:59:00.001-06:00

*Dear blog skimmers: here is a quick synopsis.
I went to my mom's crazy doctor today.
The end.

Something you should know about my mom is that she has been sick my whole life. Thus, a lot of her eccentricities can be traced back to her health. Usually we'd ignore her odd food choices or excessive vitamin intake and go on stuffing our faces full of pasteurized milk, excessive amounts of meat, and all the processed food we found appetizing. Year after year she'd find a new book describing some new diet that was healthier than the last one, and she'd give it a go. It seemed that every diet was a failure and every new book was another contradiction.
And sure, we've all tried diets have we not? Eat this and not that, blah blah blah. But we'd all take our 15 min breaks with a slice of cake, or a soda, convincing ourselves that it wasn't so bad and we'd make up for it for eating more spinach tomorrow.
This pattern lasted until my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and my mom wasn't getting any better; rather, her symptoms were slowly worsening. My parent's dedication to search out the best of cancer hospitals began as well as the best of health advice, including diets. My mom at this point had realized the benefits of holistic medicine, and the search for medicinal "truth" as it were, only became more important as it wasn't just my mom anymore, it was my dad. It was my grandma who had been given "The Shaft" (aka: premature death, for the lack of space, time, and your attention span) in her Florida hospital, and it was our countless numbers of friends' horror stories we'd hear at least weekly about how so-and-so was given the wrong medication and now they're diabetic, or how what's-her-face was another victim of a surgical mistake and is now blind. To make a long story short, my contumacious mother has transformed into a practicing advocate of what some would call voodoo witch-doctory. Or maybe that's just me. Out of all the kids, I am definitely the most skeptical of all the shenanigans, calling normal doctors sorcerers, idiots, schemers, etc. I just have a hard time believing that the whole system is corrupt, and that holistic/homeopathic doctors are the only ones who really know what they're doing.

Now let's skip to the good part.

Today's first assignment was to visit my mom's n-th doctor, Dr. Nunier (pronounced Noon-ee-yay. Add a French accent and you're a pro) up in Indiana. Paul and I arrive and he goes in first. After 45 min of waiting for Paul, I'm slightly peeved because I had to wake up early to sit in a waiting room. At least they had a radio. He comes out with a big grin on his face, buddy-buddying it up with Dr. Nunier, and I'm wondering what "feel good medicine" they gave him. Doc looks normal enough; white, round, balding man in mid-40's. Nothing too fancy. The story would only be better if he were a stubby Chinese man, but that's not the point.
Now it's my turn with Dr. Nunier. I go in, and the receptionist hooks me up to this vitals monitor that is a strap which wraps around my body, right under my bra line. I have to lie down for 5 min and then stand for 5 min. The only thing I saw on the computer that made any sense were the words, "Patient...in normal range." Normal is good. I'm good. Then Dr. Nunier comes in and goes over my chart. We sit in silence for a minute or so.
"I can already tell your adrenal glands are messed up."
"Oh? Why is that?"
"It says here you like to sleep a lot. I bet you hate waking up, no matter what time you go to bed, too."
"Um, actually, yes, that's exactly how I feel. I hate it. And I have to have at least 10 hours or I feel worthless."
"Well, there is probably more going on. You have acne and a history of an ovarian cyst, so I'm guessing your hormones in general are out of wack. I'm going to do a series of tests on you, based on ancient Chinese acupuncture pressure points, and this will give me an accurate, very precise reading of what is going on inside your body."
And he has me lie down on the table on my back.
"Raise your right arm for me, Martha."
I raise it.
"I'm going to push your arm down slightly and I want you to resist it. Let's do a test. Good, just like that. Ok, I'm going to press on several spots on your body. Your arm will lock in place just like that unless there is a problem with one of your organs. If I push on a pressure point and your arm does not lock, it means there's a problem."
Is this guy for real? Come on. I can make my arm stay in place if I want it to. He's barely touching me. He starts with my head, and then to my shoulders, back and down to my waist. Everything is fine, my arm is locking like he showed me it would. He put his hand below my left rib cage and suddenly my arm went weak. What the freak? I pushed harder.
"I can tell you're exerting more effort because your arm is going up. You see how your arm isn't steady anymore?"
"I swear I feel like I can make it stay--" and in unison we both said, "but I can't."
"That spot means your pancreas is weak. Let's see where else needs help."
He pushes on my lower abdomen and my arm is weak again. I see him close his eyes and test my arm again and then hear a slight grunt. He pushes even lower and again, my arm goes weak.
"What does it mean, doc?"
"Those last 2 spots were your ovaries and uterus. What we need to do now is find out which one is priority. Stick your middle finger in your thumb joint like this. Good. We're going to test which one is weakest."
He tests all 3 spots.
"See how your arm got stronger on those 2 areas? Your ovaries are still weak, which mean they are priority."
"Sooooo what does that mean?"
"It means your hormones are messed up."
"Well, I am on birth control."
"That will be part of it, yes. I'm sure whoever prescribed that for you had the intention to make your system right, since birth control does help in clearing acne. So, it's possible you may be more balanced now, but we won't know until we do some hormone tests. You see, hormones are very powerful chemicals. We measure them in pikagrams, which is like a drop of water in 6 train cars of water. Birth control is measured is milligrams. Talk about throwing your whole system off even more than it already is."
"Hmm...so what do I do? I love birth control. It makes everything better."
"There are healthier ways to make everything better, and once we get an idea of where you're at, we'll talk about what to do to get better."
He moves over to a wall of numbered bottles. There are over 50 of them. He opens up a drawer full of videotape cases. He brings out a few and places them on my legs. He does the arm test for my ovaries again. My arm is still weak, and I still can't believe it. He does this a few times with the cases, and I finally look down to see they're all full of 30+ vials full of different clear fluids.
"Did you turn videotape cases into vial holders? What are you doing now?"
"Yes, I did. If your body comes in contact with a substance, it will immediately know if it's good for you. I'm trying to find out what minerals your body needs."
What the freak?! "Um, how does my body know what substances it needs? Those are all in glass jars and they're resting on my leg."
"Everything gives off energy, Martha, this chair, these minerals, your body, everything. Your body has what's called Meridians of energy, and the whole point of acupuncture is to re-balance those meridians. When you're sick, your body's energy is thrown off, and it can sense certain minerals that will restore its balance. My task right now is to find out which minerals will help you. All of these bottles are good and healthy, but only some will be healthy for you." As he is talking, he is continually placing one bottle at a time on my leg and doing the arm test. After a few bottles, suddenly my arm locks.
"Whoa, my arm is locking!"
"Yes, I can feel it too." He switches out a few more bottles. Another bottle causes my arm to lock. He takes it off and my arm is weak. He tests it again. And again. And at this point, I am a believer.
"You see when I add 3 bottles, your pancreas and uterus are stronger too?"
"Yeah...weird."
"Well, I want you to do a saliva test once you get back to Utah, which is how we test your hormones. You'll send them off to a lab in Seattle and they'll send me the results. For now, I want you to take this paper and write down everything you eat for the next 4 days, and we'll figure out what you need in your diet."
"Dr. Nunier...honestly, how did you get into this? Did you have a Chinese grandpa or something?"
He chuckles, "No, actually, I was at a continuing education seminar." He puts his papers down and looks me square in the eye and says, "I read 2-3 articles a day. I read about 5 books a year. I take pride in keeping up with new literature, new studies, you name it. When I signed up for this seminar, I had no idea what I should expect. I sit down and the guy on stage is doing this to people from the audience. No one in that audience was more skeptical than me. The first thing I thought was, 'This is why chiropractors have a bad name.' I raised my hand to go up just so I could show everyone how hokey this all was. And then the guy nails exactly everything that I knew was wrong with me, and he didn't know me from Adam. And I couldn't keep my arm locked either."

Maybe I'm not ready to throw out the whole Western philosophy of medicine, but I can tell you I'm a believer in Dr. Nunier.

"There were planes to catch and bills to pay" - Harry Chapin

2009-10-29T22:31:00.001-06:00

I'm sitting there in my window seat right above the wing, staring at the flaps, watching it go through all the pre-flight tests, and imagining those hundreds of bolts popping out mid-flight, piercing my window and penetrating everyone on the plane. My arms, legs, and torso are useless and gushing blood, but that's not why I die; I die because of the bolt that crushed my windpipe and I choke to death on the bone splinters and consequential lack of air. Then memories of my dad sitting next to my 8 yr-old self is pointing out every mechanical detail of the wing and other airplane processes that a kid my age shouldn't be able to understand. Our noses are practically smashed against that tiny window, barely catching a glimpse of the engines that my dad has described to me at least 3 times previous.
"Dad, what happens if something breaks?"
He chuckles and says, "Martha, it won't. It's my job to make sure it doesn't."
And that's why up until I was about 17, all I knew about my dad's job was that "he fixes planes."
"Is he a mechanic?" I would get asked this a lot by adults.
"No...an engineer." At this point I'd get a shrug and I'd shrug back.
The image of a UPS airplane calendar comes to mind, specifically the 15 or so identical ones he has given me over the years and how I've had one on my bedroom wall since I can remember. They're probably the most boring calendars one could ever have since every airplane looks exactly the same to the untrained eye, and the sky can only be so many shades of blue, but hey...at least I knew the date.

Every month had a version of this picture. We still make fun of my dad for thinking they were cool to this day.

I feel Paul squirming beside me and I realize the flight attendant is trying to get my attention to tell me to turn off my ipod.
"Oh yeah...my b-"
"Yeah, electronic devices need to be off. Ipods are electronic. I was just saying that over the loudspeaker." And she gives me the squinty face of disappointment.
She leaves, and Paul is doing his silent giggle thing.
"Um, did she...yeah, she did. She just mocked me. A personnel of Southwest just mocked a Southwest customer. Look! She didn't mock that older gentleman for not turning off his crap. That's it. Southwest is getting a nasty letter from me when I land about age discrimination."
Paul is still laughing, and now I am too. He turns to me and says with more nostalgia than I ever expect from him, "I always get Cran-Apple juice now. That's what Dad use to get. Remember when we'd get Ginger ale every time?"
"Funny, I always order tomato juice with no ice now. There is nothing better coupled with a good book. And if I had glasses, I'd wear them. And they'd be black rimmed." He's looking me up and down, noticing my black shirt, dark blue jeans and tousled hair. "Don't judge me," is all I could say.

And then Highway to Hell by AC/DC comes on my playlist which I had defiantly not turned off, and I ask him, "Paul, if you had a vision right now, about how you were going to die on this plane today, what song would you want to listen to?"
He says with a grin, "That one we listened to earlier--Cats in the Cradle."
"Really? Paul, I will never understand you." We giggled silently, and I paused.
I flashback to one day when my mom had picked me up from school. I'm sitting in the front seat, staring out the window at the colored leaves on the trees and the clouds that seemed to be getting darker every few minutes.
"Is dad gone again?"
"Yes, I just dropped him off at the airport. He'll be back from Seattle in a few days."
"What happens if his plane gets struck by lightening and crashes?"
"Well...at least he died doing what he loves most--flying."

I turn back to Paul and say, "Well, I figure if we're going down...might as well go down dancin'."

"This bullet in my chest is burning" - Dave Alvin

2009-10-24T15:02:00.000-06:00

I met this kid last night - so funny (i.e. this post).

Why can't I meet people like this girl in real life? I think my hand would be raised in a second to ask her how she connects race with sexual diseases. That, or I'd stop paying attention right away and instead draw a cartoon of her having herpes all over her body with a parrot on her shoulder.
Oh, if only I had a scanner.

Also, I saw these movies this week:
Redbelt = epic. It's about fighting, but there aren't that many fight scenes. It's morally charged and the characters are well done. The dialogue is pretty awesome, and Randy Couture is in it. Can't get much better for cameos.

eXistenZ = craziest, trippy movie I've seen to date. And for the record, the trailer makes the movie seem hyper sexual, which it isn't. At all. In fact, I'm a little disappointed. If you're looking for a creepy movie this Halloween to give you that icky feeling, this is no doubt the one.

On my playlist this week:
King of California. I love this song right now. Dave Alvin has a superb voice, and his guitar skeelz make me weak.

"You haunt my dreams" - Telepopmusik

2009-10-18T23:09:00.001-06:00

Today while driving the Alpine Loop with some friends, I passed Sundance, which made me really reminiscent of last winter and excited for the future blizzards that will soon hit this valley.

So this post is dedicated to my future snowboard. And future snowboard career.

I'd highly recommend watching the Tech Videos. They will give you reasons why you should purchase a Ride board.

I love Ride, and I'm not really sure why. It's not because I have tons of experience testing out each brand. I guess I like their style and so far, my experience with their stuff has proven good quality. I did, however, rip my pants from last year. But whatever.
I think I want this jacket:

And these pants. (This is the only website that shows the color I want: click on Black Recycled.)

Besides, Laurie Currier, this year's pro rookie Rail Jam 1st place winner with best trick, reps Ride. And I definitely want to ride what pros are riding. I am just that original.
Here is the video of her doing best girl's trick:

Here is one of her home videos:

mt high by Laurie Currier - More related videos from Asterpix

Will I ever be this good? Only time will tell. I've made a pact with myself to go crazy this year, forget about getting hurt, and loosen the freak up. Plus, with this whole no-homework thing and being done with work at 4-5 PM every day with Sundance doing night skiing this year...practice time will be tripled.

Also, I'm convinced I would be best friends with every one of these girls. Is there still hope for me to become a pro-snowboarder?

Now, I should mention something about skiing. Yes, it's what I grew up doing, and I love it. It will always be my first passion. However, last year was dedicated to skiing. This year will be snowboarding. I'm thinking every other year I'll focus on one of the two. Gotta keep up both skills, I say.

PS. Has anyone heard of snow kiting? A girl at my work says it's a relatively new snow sport. She's from Utah, grew up skiing/snowboarding, it really good at it, and says this is hands down way more fun. Since it's so new, she says the sport has little to no girls involved. And her friends will apparently teach girls for free. And yes, I will be taking them up on that offer. I mean, does that video not look like so much fun?!

Your featured song for this post is techno. This one is on my snowboarding playlist.

Just Breathe - Telepopmusic

"A moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry" - Temper Trap

2009-10-16T01:03:00.000-06:00

You know how sometimes you read something that explains feelings you never knew how to express?

Andy pretty much does that all the time.

Read this.

I dare your inner romantic not to burst out in tears of joy and relief that someone has finally portrayed this event in words worthy enough to behold these expressions. Because, yes, I have felt this way before. I have wished for some way that time could stop, that the sun would not rise, that the night would continue, so I could hold and be with someone I cared about for longer; to feel their chest rise and fall, to hear their breathing, to feel their twitching, to be wrapped in the arms of someone else who just might care about your life as you care about theirs. I've been there wanting to know so desperately what the other is thinking and praying to God that he feels the same way.

Consider this post a Tribute of Honor to you Andy. Thank you for being so emotionally intelligent, so genuine in your efforts to live an honest life. You amaze me and others, I know.

"We all got wood and nails" - Brand New

2009-10-15T02:17:00.002-06:00

Please, correct me if I'm wrong.

But I think I may be the only one who associates songs and playlists to the extreme that I do.

Linda Rhonstadt - Desperado
= My dad singing in the kitchen in his falsetto voice chopping up vegetables for the salad. Most of the time when he sings, it's in his falsetto voice to mimic whatever lady singer he's listening to, most likely Celine Dion, Linda Rhonstadt, Charlotte Church, or Patsy Cline. He also tends to dance around sometimes, much like Forrest Gump does when Jenny comes to visit him at his house to that CCR song in the living room.

Elton John - Rocket Man
= Jordan Alford thinking Stewie's performance of this song was the funniest thing he'd ever seen on Family Guy. I didn't get it.

Biz Markie - Just a Friend
= 2009 NBA Finals. Lights off in my room. Large Papa John's pepperoni pizza and warm Countrymaid strawberry lemonade. The door's propped open and it's raining outside. Kissing during commercials. "This is like...my dream."

Brand New - Jesus Christ
= My coping mechanism for culture shock while in Japan. As I was about to serve a mission, this also addressed every religious doubt I had ever experienced, and was glad to recognize I haven't looked back. This song encompassed every question I wanted to answer for my investigators. This was also the song I would turn up in my headphones when Meg Holmberg (now Ballard) and Cole Ballard would be talking on Skype in the "hallway" of our 10 ft. apartment.

Led Zeppelin - Rain Song
= Alex's room. I'm falling asleep on his bed, he's playing the guitar in his chair. Maybe because it's raining outside, probably because it's his favorite to play on the guitar. He thinks I'm not listening to every note with utter delight. I'm afraid to show I care. A lot. There was hope for the future then. I regret not knowing the lyrics at the time.

Joshua Radin - Friend Like You.
= Keaton Jolley on the phone close to 4 AM East coast time this summer. Emily left and Alex broke it off. All we had were words and memories and each other's voices for comfort.

Fuel - Hemorrhage
= Derrick, a cute boy from EFY in Georgia when I was 14 who said this was his favorite song. He was tall, black hair, total punk in every sense of the word. Horrible slow dancer and very sweaty. I thought I was in love. What can I say, my standards were lower back then.

Spice Girls - Wannabe
= 5 best friends, spanning the ages 9-12, jumping on mattresses in Kate Wakeling's screened-in back porch. Singing at the top of our lungs to a cassette tape which had this song recorded from the radio, I was designated Baby Spice because I was the blonde. I really just wanted to be Scary Spice. This is the first memory I trace back to me wanting to be black.

I think maybe this is my brain overcompensating for the fact that I can't remember my life in most other situations. But turn on the playlist called 90s Glory Hits and suddenly I can remember every detail of 6th grade, driving back and forth from Portland Christian, every timed mile in cross country practice, that spelling bee I was 1 word away from beating reigning class champion.
Turn on the playlist called May and there appears the trip to Angel's Landing, every encouragement, every disappointment, every kiss, every thing you didn't say.

October is still in the making. So far it's 1 random birthday mix of 19 sad love songs, acoustic mostly, some Regina Spektor, and Lyle Lovett. I don't like the sound of it yet, honestly. It needs something more...upbeat. Refreshing. Vigorous. Passionate. Sounds of emotions that need to be a part of me again.

I can't wait to see what November and December will sound like. With any luck, they'll sound more like what October should.

"I feel silly, selfish and dizzy" - Passion Pit

2009-10-13T01:38:00.003-06:00

Upon reflecting back on this morning's event, only two words come to mind: farcical phenomenon.

But first, you should know I started setting my alarm about 20 min before I actually should wake up. I guess I enjoy hitting the snooze button exactly 4 times before I have to get up. It's like when it first goes off, I know I have 20 more minutes of sleeping. Weird, I know.

So today.
I do my normal routine. However, this time I turned my phone off instead of hitting snooze, a tricky maneuver when you're dead tired with one eye half open. (I can't tell you how many times I've slept in because of that one unfavorable push of the wrong button.) So of course I'm laying there sleeping, dreaming I'm awake (another very bad trick my body plays on me at times) when I hear extremely loud scratching on my window that is right next to my bed, about a foot south of my head. I immediately jumped up, my palms are already sweaty, and I'm wide awake. Accompanying this horrible scratching is a constant thud sound and then a high pitched squeal. It took me about 1 minute before I realized A BAT WAS BANGING ON MY WINDOW at 9:00 AM this morning. A BAT. I never see the creatures around here, much less in the AM hours, and even more rare AT MY WINDOW. He disappeared and then came back again, this time banging on my window for even longer.
*jaw drop
I mean really, people. Birds and bats do not just bang their bodies against random windows, ones that are clearly opaque (my blinds were shut) during their sleeping hours.
That's when I realized that my phone alarm was off.
And that's when I thanked Heavenly Father.

***Readers, take note:
It has come to my attention that a lot of you were/are unaware that each post has a link to the song I quote as the title. Just in case you didn't get catch on, I'm making it explicit now.

So, in honor of seeing Passion Pit in concert last week, which words cannot express how impressed I was, I will give you a song to listen to and love. If you're into love songs right now, you'll like it. This is probably the only love song I like right now, as the cynic in me has more or less taken over. It's a touch sad, a touch dreamy, and altogether realistic. I think I like this song best because I can picture the cartoon version of myself walking down the street to that excellent beat with just enough bounce in my step to call it a "swagger," swinging my arms, nodding my head, giving people the thumbs up because I just met the next boy who will sweep me off my feet...life is pretty cool when you're a cartoon. And just know that this song, while amazing recorded is about 10 times better performed live by a beautiful man with his beautiful falsetto voice.

*sigh

"I live every day like it's the First of October..." - M.I.A. feat Blaqstar

2009-10-01T01:34:00.000-06:00

Paper Planes is my jam for that one line alone.

Well, I was running out of ideas to celebrate my birthday--23 times is a lot (not really)--but alas, I came up with one more plan.

Let's see...today's agenda:
1) Sleep in.
2) Pick up package at UPS from my parents.
3) Go to Nordstrom Rack with Paige.
4) Gather banana split makings.
5) Have a splendid get together, perfect because of the combination of my favorite dessert and some of my favorite people :)
6) "Wind down."
7) Sleep.

...all in a day's work.

"Just glitter lust" - Goldfrapp

2009-09-29T01:58:00.000-06:00

ME: ok so get this
i'm driving to work
on university
there's traffic
i'm texting my boss
8:11 PM listening to goldfrapp i think
i don't know
and i have no air conditioning
so my windows are down
and i hear this man's voice, "hey, no texting"
and i immediately without thinking say, "i hate you" out loud to myself
8:12 PM and then the light is green
and i don't bother looking over
to who said it to me
because undoubtedly it's a nasty (edited)
or some white trash freak
ANDY: it's a cop, isn't it.
8:13 PM ME: and so i'm driving
i'm done texting
and then i hear the same voice say, "hey baby"
and now i'm speeding up
and as i'm driving away i hear some very loud whistling
and then i hit another red light
8:14 PM and i'm thinking, "if this douche bag pulls up to me and says one more thing, i'm ramming his car"
and then it's green
and the lane next to me is lessening with cars
and i hear, "see you later," and i see a white arm out the window of this SUV and he's throwing me the peace sign
8:15 PM now
tell me
as you are of the male genotype
what is it with the screaming out the windows of cars at girls
this has never really happened to me
until the last month
and it's happened almost every day
8:16 PM ANDY: you'd have to ask a douchebag. that's not really my thing.
ME: i'm not even kidding, i have proof
ANDY: jeez, that's awful
I'm really sorry about that
ME: well
it's...
flattering in a way i guess
but
come on
you can't expect that to really work, now, right
ANDY: I wouldn't know. I'm not the one to try.
ME: not only do i feel like a whore
8:17 PM but it's cheap
effortless
classless
8:18 PM everything i'm not looking for in someone
so
if you could pass that along to any DBs
that could help

"How faint the tune..." - Les Paul and Mary Ford (RIP)

2009-09-28T02:11:00.000-06:00

For elementary school I attended a private Christian school in the ghetto of Louisville. And when I say ghetto, I mean it. I remember coming home after school one afternoon, getting a snack, and turning on our 6" black and white tv that my mom kept in the kitchen. The news station was on, and there was live coverage of a murder scene, which turned out to be at the liquor store right across the street from my school. I just made sure it wasn't one of my friends and then turned the channel.

Everything about that place was so old. You should know the building first functioned as a hospital during WWII, complete with a dungeon and concrete staircase from the 3rd floor that was to be a fire escape, added some time in the 60s? 70s? The dungeon, where we had recess during winter, may have been the creepiest place ever. Our sick-minded librarian, Mrs. Moody, would tell us ghost stories every now and then during library time, and whoa, I just experienced a flood of memories I haven't thought about in a really long time.Wow. You know that show The Magic School Bus? And crazy old Ms. Frizzle? Yeah, take her character and add the 60s, a lot of pot, and that is Mrs. Moody. Needless to say her ghost stories were wacked out, and if only I had half the memory of a donkey I would give you some good ones. But blast it, I can't remember a single one.

As a 3rd grader, everything seems to bigger than it actually was. But I swear, every window in this hospital-turned-school was at least 10 feet high, the doorways were at least fifteen feet tall with extremely heavy doors, the wooden panels in the floors were outlined in thick black lines from decades of filth collection, every footstep squeaked, the halls echoed, the pipes in the ceiling were exposed, and all furniture could have been found in old movies. The place was heated with hot water heaters and there was no air conditioning. Cobwebs actually took up some of the corners. All the faculty were my grandma's age.

And that brings me to Mrs. Browning, my 70 yr old music teacher who taught us all about classical music. She was also obsessed with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and had all of their vinyl in her classroom. She occasionally would have them playing on her ancient turntable record player while we did worksheets. I remember feeling like her classroom was a sanctuary from the anti-Mormon vibe I would get elsewhere during school. At the time I didn't realize that vibe was intentional, but a few years later I got smart. She knew I was LDS and would smile at me when she caught me humming along with the hymns I recognized. I never heard of her dying, but I'm pretty sure she'd be almost 100 yrs. old if she were still alive. I'm sure she's still teaching 8 yr. olds about Bach and Schubert with her old records and cork board she would decorate that spotlighted a composer for the month. If not in this life, definitely the next.

"It's real love" - Regina Spektor

2009-09-26T22:10:00.001-06:00

September 23, 2009: I'm finally Aunt Martha (*quick shudder).

Jayda may be the cutest little baby ever, but who doesn't say that about their family?

I love you, baby girl, I dedicate this song to you. (I'll teach you all about music soon enough.)
Welcome to our family :)

"The sound of settling" - Death Cab for Cutie

2009-09-22T00:37:00.000-06:00

If memory was a scale, this being one extreme and amnesia being the other, I'd probably fall on the side of amnesia.

Also, I think my biggest internet fad I found today is this girl: Tavi Gevinson. Somehow she has become a big deal in the fashion world. Even Yahoo did an article on her. I do love her witty tween charm though. I wish I was that innovative when I was 13. Maybe not with clothes, but definitely with the public relations side of things.

Which brings me to my next point. Is it so wrong that I wear clothes based on what other people think? I buy what's new and in the stores I like. I'm not a yard sale junkie nor a thrift store hound. Sure, I like vintage, but in a...revised...way? I really have nothing to add to this topic.

Not even kidding, this is the most stereotypical Japanese teen girl I have ever seen.

Since the NBA Finals, I have eaten pizza at least once a week. And I have probably had less than 5 banana splits since then. Which means I think my banana split craze has turned into a pizza craze. But banana splits are still amazing. And so is pizza. Maybe there's a way to combine both of them.

I think it's kind of weird that when amidst Christians, it's weird to bring up Christ out of nowhere. You'd think it would be ok at the very least, but apparently you're still crazy for talking about God in every day conversation.

And really, I have to agree with Alex that married people need to give it up and keep to their spouses. Today at work, I was doing an in-take with this woman who explained how her husband doesn't want to be married anymore because he's been having an emotional affair with another woman. What I really wanted to say was, "I am amazed that you would want to stick with someone who doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. You are awesome for believing in your temple covenants and I would hope that if I ever faced your situation, I would deal with it as gracefully as you are." But as a professional representing an agency, all I said were 3 words that came out awkward and misunderstood: "Wow, you're amazing."

So one of my friends was dating a total loser. The few of us who thought so would hum the chorus of this song whenever he came around. "Bop baa, bop baaa..." I know, I know. Passive aggressive and mean...and really funny. But that was when I was young and stupid. And this is when I write off my past as part of "growing up."

Did anyone else feel how cold it was today?

"M is for Martha" - The Accused

2009-09-21T02:36:00.003-06:00

First and foremost, I'd like to dedicate this post to Andy. Mostly because he helped me discover the happy ending of what I'm about to disclose to you, tiny audience.

As a few of you know, I've always hated my name. I was made fun of it ever since I can remember, I've overheard way too many conversations of, "That's her name? Really?" and quite frankly, I've never been that excited that the only other girls alive with my name are 80+ years old or dead. I mean, surely there are a few names when you Google image search them, you get the following:

Death

Martha is not the name that comes to mind when I think of sexy, good looking, funny, or just fun. No -ny, just f.u.n. Immediately I think of wrinkles, dusty fake flowers, pinched cheeks, wheelchairs, vibrant floral patterns, obesity, and stale twinkies from the snack drawer.

But you know what, it's not even about that.
This inner dislike for my name isn't even about the FACT that my name sake is forever rebuked in the Bible by Deity. If only my mom had chosen Mary, I'd be forever blessed and forever attached to the oldies group Peter, Paul, and Mary (yes, those are the names of my 2 brothers). Thank goodness for that song Leaving On A Jet Plane, right?

When it comes down to it, it's more about this FACT: I'm named after a bearded lady, also known as my great grandmother.

But whatever. I've been dealing with it for almost 23 years now. It's to the point where I've stopped wishing for a name change and I only think about it when someone mentions anything about my name. I've been getting a lot of, "Oh, I LOVE the name Martha!" comments lately. But I usually don't believe them, mainly because of the trend in baby names these days: completely made up or super old fashioned (i.e. Brashlynn and Eleanor).

So even though my name may be damned, bring images of haggish fat ladies to mind, or just remind you of me since I may be the only Martha from your generation that you know, there have been many a great band and songwriter that have sung about Martha.

And for your listening pleasure, here is the playlist I'd like to dedicate to...well, myself. It's my blog, and I do what I want.

Tom Waits - Martha
This may be the prettiest saddest song of all time. Proof. I wonder if this will happen to me someday. Me as Martha, not Tom Waits.

The Beatles - Martha My Dear
So catchy, such good advice for me right now.

Smashing Pumpkins - For Martha
Excellent, of course.

Loudon Wainwright III - Pretty Little Martha
Personal favorite.

The Allman Brothers - Little Martha
Beautiful instrumental.

The Accused - M is for Martha
Probably my favorite intro EVER. (I won't be offended if you turn it off right afterwards).

The Battle Royale - Oh Martha
Not half bad, really. And oh, the lyrics.

Neil Diamond - Kentucky Woman
This counts :)

"BAM-BA-LAM" - Ram Jam

2009-09-18T01:56:00.000-06:00

I would just like to draw attention to National Geographic's Picture of the Day for July 20, 2009.

The Holi Festival in India:

The Holi Festival in Utah:

Can't wait till next year.
I'm going to request we throw colors to some classic rock instead of the religious chant.
Sacrilege?
Perhaps.
But the flaming witch never looked so cool with that amazing Ram Jam rift in the background.

"It's a bittersweet symphony, this life" - The Verve

2009-09-17T02:09:00.000-06:00

I have 6 insect bites, all of which have gradually appeared over the last few days. All of them can be found within the 3 inches of skin/muscle/tendon/bone labeled "ankle" that resides between the foot and lower leg.

I wear a t shirt, shorts, and flip flops every day. You'd think my culprit would want some variety.

"You've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life." - Pavement

2009-09-15T20:41:00.001-06:00

It's time for a life update. I mean, I haven't had internet for over 2 weeks now, and I know how you are all dying to know what I've been up to. As of today, I am the proud owner of a wireless router. I'm not sure when I started getting excited over electronics more so than Barbies, but...here we are.

I went longboarding for the first time ever this last weekend with my buddy Tyler. He got a board for me and we went up the canyon. It was surprisingly fun. I only fell once, and with no blood. I think my minimal snowboarding skills came into play tonight. It felt very similar...and now I have an even greater desire for the snow to come.

Speaking of snowboarding...I found the board of my dreams. I saw it in person last night and *gasp* it changes colors in the sun and there's a cool hologram on it you can't see very well in the picture.

I also learned how to play tennis this week. My brother and my friend Jason both spent some time teaching me. There is a rumor I may be a natural, however this is yet to be confirmed. I really did enjoy myself though. During a water break, Jason also taught me the beginning steps of how to juggle.

My new bishop has a garden and he gives my roommate and I about 4 gallons of vine ripe tomatoes every weekend. They're like candy, and naturally I have at least 4 a day. Basically, my immune system is unstoppable right now. I'm pretty sure if I kissed someone with mono or licked the floor I would be ok.

My friends and I are starting a weekly party schedule. This past week was Paige's Staring Contest party which was wildly fun, and if you're reading this, hopefully you were invited.

Next week or the week after I am having a house warming party, and it may or may not be a murder mystery dinner. I'm doing the research and I will get back to you. If you're still reading this, this is your invitation.

I now have justifiable reasons to obtain an iphone and I still can't bring myself to get one. Blast my economical conscience.

I wore a Brigham Young t-shirt today, and have never felt so proud. Provo exploded 2 weekends ago. Check out Alexandra's videos.

So, my ipod was stolen right? And my radio jack that goes with it. I was bummed because now I'd have to go and get another radio thing. However, as I was packing up my stuff to move last month, I found a tape deck converter which I completely forgot I owned. My mom made me this box full of my old electronic stuff 4 yrs ago, and there it was. So now I have a better ipod with now more music than I had previously (thanks to those who helped me retain my musical sanity - you know who you are) and a better way to play it in my car. Take that, theives.

The real story begins when I found my electronic box. Because tucked away for all these years has been these tapes that I recorded when I was in middle school. I recorded my favorite songs off the radio and so the last couple weeks I've been listening to these ancient tapes. I also found Ace of Base's The Sign album,

an album by *Savage Garden in Japanese,

the *Mermaids soundtrack (starring Cher),

and 1955 Greatest Hits, including songs as "Chantilly Lace" and "Who Wrote the Book of Love." I seriously feel like I've been blasting through my past via these tapes. I also found my old Giga Pet which I am going to resurrect as soon as I find the right battery, as well as this jade Buddha statue I've had since I was little that now resides on my desk.

Crazy.

*Not to be a reflection on my music taste: these were inherited tapes. You may, however, judge my music taste on this song. It changed my life. This moment occurred in high school: freshman biology, first period. Details include a barren beauty queen for a teacher, a dissected pig fetus, a gothic anarchist for a lab partner, and a boy named Graham Gordon who not only introduced me to Pavement and subsequently gave me all of their cds, but who shortly became my first high school crush.

"You know I hate to leave you" - The Beatles

2009-09-04T22:30:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to say that my lack of internet has been the reason behind my lack of blogging. I'll be back, promise.

Love,
Me.

"Back in the saddle again" - Gene Autry

2009-08-29T03:18:00.000-06:00

There was way too much butter on the popcorn and way too much popcorn. Add a large Dr. Pepper and you've got a recipe for a stomach ache that lasts the rest of the night.

My innards haven't felt this bad in a long time, and thus why I am still awake.

But on the brightside, Star Trek was well worth my $2 (not $1 as I no longer have a valid school ID) which reminds me that now is a good time to insert how grateful I am that I don't have school for the next year.

I love what I do, and it hit me today that I think a lot of people think school is an end in itself. I did. I used to think that my professors were members of the echelon of Intelligence, who if I could emulate in any way I would be set for life eternal. However, it has come to my attention that I have learned more life lessons in the last 2 weeks at my job than I can tie back to my classrooms. There really is worthy, equitable learning outside of school, dare I say it and fall great heights from the Ivory Towers in my educational background. The kids I deal with are constantly impressing me, no...shocking me that no matter what their circumstances, they are rising above it with the little they have. These kids, in a sense, are living the American dream. Unknowingly.

Switch gears.

Today, there were so many cars on the road I was actually feeling anxiety.
On the way home from work, there was not 1, not 2, but 3 accidents all at the same time, one traffic jam flowing into the next one.
Target ran out of floor space for notebooks, microwave ovens, and fans, so they took over some of the men's clothing department.
I almost hit 2 pedestrians.
I received several text messages about how crazy the Wilke was today.

...

Oh the beginnings of school years.
I can smell the freshly sharpened pencils, hear the squeaky new shoes on the tile floors, see the new haircuts, feel the air chilling 1 degree with every day, signifying it's almost time to bust out that college sweatshirt you stole from your boyfriend of 3 years ago and now only wear it to and from the gym, making up for your lack of sweatpants and ample bare leg.

Yet...a longing pause.
I feel like I could be missing out on something: the pompousness and inclusion of being a college student that is only earned from walking the sidewalks, going to classes, being seen at the library hunched over a computer, book, and/or table, having a distressed look on your face most of the time, and/or spotted running with a backpack slung over your shoulder. I will no longer be able to share that "oh crap" moment with a friend who also has a paper due at midnight, or stories of that quirky or insanely intelligent professor, or how you may have spotted your soulmate across the quad last week and then again today. No...I am no longer in the middle of this social world we know as College. When the crowd cheers and boos, I will be on the outskirts with ears only curious, like a security guard at a football game not allowed to leave his post by the parking lot. He never sees the actual play, but feels all the ramifications of it, including picking up the trash. There is no doubt that I will be caressing the emotional shoulders of many friends, saying, "It'll be ok...it's only a paper." If you, reader, will be one of those friends, to you I say in advance enjoy it while it lasts because one day you'll be where I am, just doing my job. Perhaps you'll love it, or not, but right now love that paper that is due at midnight.

"Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry" - Survivor

2009-08-26T03:08:00.000-06:00

The only thing I can say about the following: why didn't I think of that?

Speaking of lions, tigers, and bears (oh my!), I learned I was born in the year of the Tiger. And not just any tiger--the Fire Tiger. The following is supposedly my personality outlook. I don't think I concur.

"Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dogs."

(For added effect.)

Regardless, from now on you may refer to me as Fire Tiger (rawr) and you better believe this is my theme song.

A few more notes on why 1986 is so fantastic:

The energizer bunny was first introduced in 1986.
Designated as International Year of Peace by United Nations.
Computer-created Luxo, Jr. is first of Pixar's virtual studio films.
The first celebration of Martin Luther King Day.
At the movies: ET, Die Hard, Ghosts Busters, Gremlins, and Stand by Me.
Japanese introduce Game Boy, with 8-bit operating system.
The Space Shuttle Challenger exploded on January 28, 1986.
Voyager 2 sends back images of Uranus, and who wasn't excited about that?!
Cable shopping networks meet two public desires: TV and shopping.
MCMLXXXVI is ridiculously long, I don't know what the Romans would do these days.
Hailstones weighing 2.2 lb fall on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92.
In Ukraine, one of the reactors at the Chernobyl nuclear plant explodes, creating the world's worst nuclear disaster. 56 are killed directly by the incident, many more die from cancer in later years, many thousands more are exposed to significant amounts of radioactive material, and vast territories in Ukraine and Belarus are rendered uninhabitable.
In Louisville Kentucky, William J. Schroeder, the second artificial heart recipient, dies after 620 days (Woot, shout out to my crib).
Cliff Burton, bassist for Metallica from 1982–1986, dies on the Damage Inc. tour in Europe after being crushed by Metallica's tour bus. Oh my gosh, right?
The day I was born U.S. President Ronald Reagan signs the Goldwater-Nichols Act into law, making official the largest reorganization of the United States Department of Defense since the Air Force was made a separate branch of service in 1947.
Mike Tyson wins his first world boxing title by defeating Trevor Berbick in Las Vegas.
Nobel Peace Prize: Elie Wiesel, only one of the greatest human beings ever.
Did I mention I was born?

Are you jealous yet?

"My heart is filled with peace" - Mormon Tabernacle Choir

2009-08-23T10:59:00.000-06:00

As you may know, the Oquirhh Mountain Temple dedication was today. All of regular church was canceled in Utah due to the ceremony, which one had to have a temple recommend in order to attend. I find it interesting that for the first time ever (because church isn't usually canceled for a dedication), only worthy LDS members were allowed to attend church today. I find it very much like a less intense version of the parable of the 10 virgins.
There is no doubt in my mind that President Monson is the chosen prophet for today and Jesus Christ is the head of His church. I could feel the close relationship President Monson has with our Lord in his dedicatory prayer through word choice, his phraseology, his demeanor...you can just feel the Spirit testify over and over again that he is divinely inspired to lead us. I felt honored to be there to witness a prophet pray, and to appreciate the power of his priesthood and calling. I can't think of any other time outside a dedicatory prayer when I've heard a prophet pray. How humbling it is to hear him praying for me, beseeching the power of God to be with me in my life, guiding, protecting, leading me through my trials and successes. I love going to the temple, and it's so exciting to think of how wonderful it will be to finally go through all of it.

Oquirrh Mountain Temple. For more information and pictures, click here.

Here is a short, beautiful hymn performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, I Feel My Savior's Love. Nothing that happened today could be possible without the Atonement, which Jesus Christ performed out of pure love. There is so much to be grateful for that numbering my blessings seems trite. So, I'll let the music and lyrics sum it up for me.

Verse 1:
I feel my Savior’s love, in all the world around me. His Spirit warms my soul through everything I see.

Chorus:
He knows I will follow Him, give all my life to Him. I feel my Savior’s love, the love He freely gives me.

Verse 2:
I feel my Savior’s love, its gentleness enfolds me. And when I kneel to pray, my heart is filled with peace.

Verse 3:
I feel my Savior’s love and know that He will bless me. I offer Him my heart; My shepherd He will be.

Verse 4:
I’ll share my Savior’s love by serving others freely. In serving I am blessed, in giving I receive.

For more information on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, visit the following websites:
www.lds.org
www.mormon.org

"Have I found you flightless bird?" - Iron and Wine

2009-08-23T03:47:00.000-06:00

At midnight, we decided we needed snacks. And then we decided we needed to drive the Alpine Loop. Without looking back, we made a playlist of 77 songs and only got through 32. We got out at the top and sat on Sargeant for a while. The few stars that found us were startled, I'm sure. I ate a plum while I listened. A brief dance party then commenced upon the introductory audio waves of Soulja Boy. The phrases "I wish I was black, Martha"and "You are a walking contradiction" were said at some point, and then Sargeant took us home. With all the wind, my face felt tingly and numb like it does after a motorcycle ride or speeding down a mountain on skiis. He said, "I don't know what that feels like," and I said, "You haven't lived."

"So far, I still know who you are" - Smashing Pumpkins

2009-08-22T00:20:00.001-06:00

I'm sitting here watching Rhys Darby right now on comedy central, and I found this bit hilarious. Oh what the heck, watch this bit too.

But I can't stop thinking about my day today. I think it may have had a stronger impact than I thought. So of course, here I am blogging about it. (You know my journal is getting some serious silent treatment these days.)

Today after work I went to the adoptions agency to do my volunteer work. Today's assignment was to disassemble files from the late 90s. I got to read every detail I wanted about these kids who were placed for adoption. The weird thing is, they're all at least 10 by now.

There was one girl who got pregnant at 18 and the guy was 24. She wanted to get married but he didn't and told her if she didn't place the baby for adoption he would never talk to her again. So she did. In her records made by the caseworker, there was a description about how she really struggled about giving up her little girl. When it came time to sign the papers of releasing all parental rights, she started crying and said she couldn't sign just yet, that she needed time. The caseworker wrote that she waited outside the birth mother's room for 45 min until her mom came out and said she was ready. She explained it was the finality of all of it that made her scared and nervous but she knew she was doing the right thing. It broke my heart to think that this poor girl wanted to keep her baby and boyfriend, to start a family, and was flat out denied.

Another file I read was a girl who got pregnant while she was traveling through Kansas, and she didn't even know the guy's last name. He had no idea about a baby at all, and she said she wanted to be a single mom, at age 20. She had twins, Isaac and Isabel. She kept them for 2 1/2 years, and realized she couldn't take care of them. So she placed them. To this day, he has no idea. At least he didn't 3 years after the twins being placed.

There were stories of parents who didn't want their kids anymore for one reason or another, stories of rape, of one night stands being quite more serious than expected...and the list just goes on. I was teary eyed for a good 2 hours straight. I couldn't help but put myself in every one of their situations and contemplate what I would do. I just don't know. Being involved with kids in state custody and working with foster families every day has completely opened my mind to adoption and being a foster parent one day. Not that I shut out, I just never thought of it before. I have so much respect for these families that I work with. They serve every day. Their lives are not their own, and I feel honored to work with them. To me, they live a Christ-like life for dedicating their time and resources to helping youth who have been in trouble and are trying to get back on their feet.

2 hours of being teary eyed was kind of a trip, because with every file it started sad, but by the end of the file I was usually grasping my throat area with a huge smile on my face going, "Yay!" The happy tears came from reading about all the families who were so grateful for the children that were given to them. I read a ton of thank you letters, and each one was so special, so full of gratitude, and it occurred to me that adoption is just one step in the process of creating eternal families. Sure there are some dark clouds associated with it, but in the end, it's nothing but sunny skies. I talked to several caseworkers today as well about their job of matching families with children, and each one was incredibly willing to tell me how much they LOVE their job.

I may have found my new chosen profession. Oh grad school, you elude me. I haven't given up on you. I'm coming.

For my music selection this post, I figured I'd be straight forward. I haven't been for a while, so why not. I present to you my favorite song by Smashing Pumpkins: Perfect. So underrated. I discovered this fact and connected with this song on my solo 8 hr. drive down to EFY, and well...I'm not over it yet. The lyrics haunt me.

"Our love is here to stay" - Ella Fitzgerald

2009-08-21T00:55:00.000-06:00

Often when I was a child, I never had the remote. When we were all sitting around the TV to lose our minds, to catch up on our TV shows or sports as it were, my shows were not choice #1, or #2, or #5 in the company of my sport addict family. But on the rare occasion that my parents were upstairs, and both brothers were playing outside or playing NBA Live in the bedroom, and the off chance that I was even interested in the TV, I most often chose to watch Cinderella.

She's always been my favorite princess. I think it started with my fascination of identifying with beautiful women who were blonde. (Naturally, I gravitated to Barbie, too.) Usually if there is a competition between a brunette and a blonde, all other things being equal, I'm voting for the blonde. I'm not really sure when that started. In child development, they say your understanding of who you are begins with looks, before you can talk. Not sure how soon, but obviously later you can make connections to other people and yourself on a deeper level. For example, Cinderella had 2 siblings who hated her, and at age 5, I considered my 2 brothers my equivalent of 2 evil step-sisters. She was ordered around to do chores by her step-mom, and before I could play with my friends, I had to get my chores done around the house. I distinctly remember one Saturday morning when I had to empty the dishwasher, I started singing, "Cinderelly, Cinderelly, night and day it's Cinderelly - wash the dishes, do the laundry..." and before I could say anything else my mom spanked me and told me to be grateful I was learning how to clean.
And how about being screwed over just when everything is going so well? I think everybody has an "it's over at midnight" experience.
Not only did Cinderella and I have siblings, chores, and midnight in common, she could talk to animals. Not that I'm schizophrenic, but my journal at age 7 is filled with wishes and dreams of talking to animals. Every birthday candle, every Christmas list, every shooting star and every discovered eyelash was dedicated to wishing for a dog. Basically, all I ever wanted was a pet. I believed Cinderella's mantra: "No matter how hard your heart is beating, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true." And you know what? It worked. I didn't get Freddy till I was 10, but we've been soul mates ever since.

2010 Webster's Dictionary definition of adorable (adj.) Freddy, Jack Russell Terrier. (see picture)

Then, Cinderella has a fairy god-mother who grants her the most beautiful dress of all time, she dances with the hottest, richest guy in the kingdom, AND she is sustained and redeemed by her friends in her time of need to live happily ever after.

I mean, look at that flawless complexion and godly physique!

It's a story of justice, good triumphing over evil, of true love. Her friends, the little mice, almost die trying to rescue her. Her prince doesn't rest until he finds her again, to love and cherish her forever (skip to 3:20) because he knows she's one in a million, that he'll never find another girl like her, that she's probably the best girlfriend there ever was. Her asanine step-mom's antics were put to a halt, and her retarded step sisters are publicly embarrassed. Simply put, I consider the movie to be completely relate-able to my life, past and future alike.

But you're right. I'm an unrealistic sap.

"Let's change the way we treat each other" - Tupac

2009-08-19T17:03:00.000-06:00

Just say this phrase out loud once and realize that you'll probably never approach being able to say it 3 times fast:

"Three Swedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watches switches. Which Swedish switched witch watch which Swiss Swatch watch witch?"

Q: Do you know any hard tongue twisters in other languages? Anyone?

This week at work has been simply amazing. I'm already learning so much. I watch over 4 girls, all 18 or under, who have been through challenges that I never ever want to face in my life. My anger management class hasn't started yet, but I'm already gathering ideas. I'm actually really excited about it. I met all the kids on Monday at their group therapy, and they're way nice. Apparently it's not just boys, either. Life is great, and I hope you're thankful for your family and friends. I learned about the LDS adoption agency too. You should see how many couples are on the wait list to adopt. I mean, really. There are 5 binders, each one is about 4" thick, and they're overflowing with couples' information. For the first time, I realized just how many couples can't have kids. They say it's a lot, but wow, it really IS a lot. And I only saw how many couples want to adopt in Utah with this one agency and this one agency's office--not even the couples who haven't signed up, or those with other agencies, and other offices, and outside of Utah. *mind explosion

Today's song: Changes by Tupac. We listened to this song in Thinking Errors group therapy. The kids had to find all the thinking errors in the lyrics. I'm telling you, my job rocks.

"Givin em eargasms with my mellow accent" - Blackstreet

2009-08-14T23:57:00.000-06:00

Haha, oh my gosh. Watch this video and listen for these key phrases:

"...and this creepy guy."
"...you're gonna be buzzed by the pastor."

Also, notice the homosexual intonations in Anderson Cooper's interview (I mean, would a TV host be able to hit on him that blatantly if he weren't gay?), the fact that the guy on the pogo stick will probably never have children, the great clip art of the squirrel, and Flo-Rida's parents: is it conceivable that he paid 2 normal people to impersonate them for the sake of reputation and TV? My Life Experience monitor points to "Most Likely." We can have a debate about this later.

Now, listen up. This song never. gets. old.

"Give it to me four times" - Toots and the Maytals

2009-08-14T04:03:00.000-06:00

Ask me about the Toots and the Maytals concert next time you see me (Sublime's cover). T'was unforgettable, events that I can't create justice with words alone. You'll need to see how I recreate that one guy who stared at the sky the whole time swaying back and forth to the beat with 2 beers in his hands and had the funniest things to say with an accent that made no sense, and the one slightly disformed lady who went AWOL on this guy just for standing there, like really, just standing there, and of course my best effort at impersonating Stevie, the nicest, most legit hippie I have ever met in real life who looks like he could have walked off the set of Across the Universe. Oh, and definitely how when Aaron's face was smashed into a girl's arm/shoulder area when the mosh pit got out of control and when I looked up he says with his matter-of-fact tone, "Oh, oh, my face." After 5 straight minutes of uncontrollable laughter, which happens to me occasionally, my abs felt like I had done about 200 crunches, and I almost peed on myself and 2 other people. Word to the wise: don't drink a lot before going into a huge crowd of people in a very small space. And start expecting my posts to include at least one run-on sentence, an overuse of commas, usually a lot of lists in various forms, and defintely sentences that start with "And."

In other news, my ipod was stolen out of my car 2 nights ago, and I found the ukulele I'm going to buy today. It's $100. Lessons start in September, so if you feel generous and want to contribute to my future in being a ukulele virtuoso, I accept all major credit cards, cash and personal checks. I may even accept precious stones.

"We'll just have to adjust" - Arcade Fire

2009-08-12T00:52:00.000-06:00

It's been 19 days since I've been back in Provo from my summer getaway. 19 days of looking for jobs, submitting applications, updating resumes, and networking to the best of my knowledge. My first week back, I literally spent 6 hours a day on the computer and on the phone. The second week I averaged about 4 hours a day. For the record, it FINALLY paid off.

I've probably been to about ten or so interviews in the last couple of weeks. Nothing too fancy, and nothing too promising. Today, however, I was at my research meeting. I was chatting with Jen, my lovely phD student whom I'm assisting in her thesis, and she told me that there might be an opening where she worked. She contacted her supervisor who told me to come in today and she hired me on the spot. So, what do I do? Who do I work for? Wouldn't you like to know... click here.

Basically it's a private company funded by the state of Utah. Technically I'll be a state employee who works with teens who've been court ordered to participate in our programs based on behavioral issues (like stealing, graffiti, etc.) and substance abuse (alcohol, meth, etc.). My job is to track 4 girls who have already graduated from the program but can't go home due to a lack of family. I just help make sure they stay out of trouble while they're living with foster families. I also have to teach Anger Management classes to teenage boys (ha! what a ridiculously fun job) and Criminal Thinking classes (which is basically like driver's school but for kids who have been caught stealing). It's full time with benefits, incredible experience to add to my resume and grad school applications, not to mention it's the most flexible full time schedule out there. I have a certain number of hours I have to fill each week and I can do them whenever I want. Obviously the classes aren't flexy, but that's just twice a week. I know what you're thinking, and yes, you can come with me and help teach Anger Management. I'll call it "bring a friend to work" day.

ANYway, I've got that, my volunteer work with Jen and her thesis, volunteer work at LDS Services in their adoptions agency, ski instructing on weekends and holidays starting Christmas break (if they'll let me) and substitute teaching here and there in case I get called and I have time. Oh, and squeeze ukulele lessons in there somewhere, too. Whew. Life without school is pretty awesome. Plus, little brosef Paul Wall is coming back into town, and I'm pretty much crazy excited about seeing him again. It's been almost 2 and a half years! Last time I saw him he was a wee lad...

Opening up his mission call. How precious, right?

PS. This has to be the worst wedding catastrophe I've ever heard.

"Technically, I'm hard as steel." - Q Tip

2009-08-11T01:40:00.000-06:00

Attention: Dad
If you're reading this...stop.

After the Q-Tip concert, I was getting icecream. It was almost 11 PM. There it was, parked right outside the front doors, blue and beautiful. I got a small chocolate and cake batter mixed with cookie dough, which rang up about $3.50. So, I ask the guy at the cash register, "Yo dogg, who's bike's that?" and he's like, "Girl, you know dat's mine." (Not really.) But really, I asked him if he'd take me for a ride, to which he replied, "If you wait until 11:30 when I get off work." I waited, and then we drove around the corner to the empty parking lot where he asked, "Do you know how to drive?" I said, "No, but I want to learn one day." Then the magical words, "Why don't I teach you right now?" My palms started sweating, no kidding. He hopped off and let me slide down to the driver seat. I'll have you know that motorcycles are heavy. It almost fell on me. Luckily he caught me and the bike in time haha...ha. He showed me how to turn it on, where the "oh crap" button is that shuts the whole thing off, where to put my feet, my hands, how to shift, how to go, how to stop. Simple, really, but quite involved. I killed it the first couple tries, but then I got it every time after that. I never shifted out of first gear, and I never figured out the brakes quite right, and he did run beside me the whole time, but...wow. I felt so cool. I just want one even more now.

History in the making: "The first bike I ever drove was a 2009 Kawasaki Ninja 500R."

"They sit and wait and all will be revealed" - Led Zeppelin

2009-08-09T21:47:00.000-06:00

Finally, the fight of the year (for me) happened last night. I mentioned it a while ago, you may remember. (He didn't come out to T.I., but another fighter did!) Alas, nothing has changed: Silva is STILL unbeatable! 10 straight UFC fights in a row: unheard of. He's still my favorite and he proved he could take the light heavyweight category by storm. Last night it was me and about 3 other people in the gym cheering for him. Everyone else went crazy for Griffin. (Dear Paiser and Barnum: I'm here to tell you I told you so.) Anderson beat Griffin effortlessly, and not without his usual mockery. Oh my gosh, it was so worth waiting for. Of course, here is the story that is much more eloquent and knowledgeable. Not only does this talk about the fight last night in better detail, it also secures my idea that Silva will move up to the light heavyweight division for good. And, he refuses to fight Machida. *gasp! Oh Dana, please follow up on your statement.

Andy, an extra 20 lbs. is a good look for you.

"I'm on the outside looking in" - Robert Plant

2009-08-08T03:06:00.001-06:00

I forgot how much I love joy riding on my bike. Somewhere along Growing Up Rd., I lost my interest. I am so happy Joel helped me find it again on Sunday. It was dark, I was nervous, but there it was, between the wind in my hair, that lovely bell chime, and the satisfaction of going around town a lot faster than walking. I like that you can just pick up your bike whenever and start pedaling. You don't have to hassle a locked car door, the gas gauge, looking out for pedestrians in fear of killing them, headlights, air conditioning, the scratchy radio, the musky smell of smokers from 10 years ago leaking from every inch of the interior leather upholstery...it's just you, the wind, and the rhythm of pedaling. Simple. Efficient. Healthy.

Fast forward to today. What began as a nice bike ride around town soon turned into a Critical Mass convention. I have a fatty bruise and dried blood on my right leg to prove it. I ran into a fence. A boy fell into me. And not in that order at all. I'm not sure if I fully appreciate/agree with the politics but it was really...fun. We stopped rush hour traffic. There were some cars who had to sit through 2 red lights as they watched us bike past them. Others were cut off unintentionally as all 106 of us had to turn left onto Center Street. Some cars honked in appreciation while most other honkers did not.
I kept thinking about how I would have reacted if it were me sitting at those red lights. What if I had decided to go grocery shopping instead, and was that person watching us cruise by laughing, singing, talking, pedaling, all without a care for those people waiting on us? Would I have cursed biking forever? Probably. Because dang it, I was being forced to wait at a light, in my hot car with no air conditioning, smelling that awful "used" stinch, listening to my favorite song cut in and out on my radio, daydreaming of lifting my foot off the break just until I "accidentally" hit one or a few of the bikers, while my chocolate icecream melted in my trunk. I wonder how many cartons of icecream and dreams of changing the world melted because of our political statement.

"I don't know if I'm a boxer or the bag" - Pearl Jam

2009-08-06T17:15:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure I was begging God to let me be born in Seattle around 1978.

I would have liked to have been old enough to fully appreciate the fact that about every other influentially important alternative/rock band is from Seattle, around the early 90s.

Question: What do Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Audioslave, Rage Against the Machine, and Temple of the Dog have in common?
Answer: Eddie Vedder.

So, in honor of my alternative grunge roots and the music geniuses who helped them grow, and because I care about your music appreciation (really, read the article), here is a playlist pour toi to enjoy on another sunny summer thursday.

Temple of the Dog - Hunger Strike

Pearl Jam - Yellow Ledbetter

Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it away now

Audioslave - Shadow on the Sun

Rage Against the Machine - Wake Up

"I'll tell you everything about being free" - Wolfmother

2009-08-05T10:13:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday was full of various water activities. I dived off the diving board for the first time ever at a local swimming pool in Draper (or not so local), and enjoyed a 200 ft. slip n' slide. Here is the evidence.
Luckily we had a film major who attended. He's the one who makes it all the way standing up. Great balance and artistic talent--this guy is on his way to having it all. (Almost). If you aren't a fan of the classical music, you can always listen to this song while viewing, too.
What the heck, watch it twice.
(If you wait like 10 seconds after the song starts playing and then press play on the video, the timing is a lot better. Don't forget to mute the video, too.)

"Please let me get what I want" - The Smiths

2009-08-03T23:06:00.001-06:00

So I'm watching HGTV, and the next thing I know I have a strong desire to own a house in Belize.

Tonight featured a couple, both mainly working from their home. They took a trip to Belize with some friends and were like, "Um...we need to be a part of this." It occurred to me that if your profession was reduced to a phone and laptop, you can pretty much do anything and go anywhere you want. With no kids, middle aged, and both working big people jobs, their budget was 1.5 million US dollars. The first house they looked at has a private beach, private pool, 3 floors with imported wood, a guest floor (yes, floor), and a flat top roof with 360 degrees of nothing but clear Caribbean seas, blue skies, and hot sun. The house they ultimately chose is the one featured above, totally modern and beautiful with pretty much the same set up.

Admittedly, I am not much of a beach person. However, given these circumstances I may kiss my skiis goodbye forever. Maybe if I'm ever that well off, I can afford a cabin in the mountains, too.

"[Change] is hard and it happens slowly" - Paper Route

2009-08-02T01:59:00.001-06:00

I'm a fan of the indie music scene. I haven't always been the most loyal fan, but 2009 has been a year of changes. I took a hiatus of sorts and caught up on my popular bands/singers, and last night while downloading the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer (which is #1 on the must-hear-now list), I can honestly say I've been inspired to come back. Not that I ever really left, but you know. Man, I forgot how much I love to surf music blogs.

So, during my soundtrack downloading and music blog search I found a few bands that are necessary to have on my ipod, a few that will probably just stay on my Project playlist, and a few that are better left unheard. Here are the few bands that I think are most noteworthy:

The Smiths.
What Garden State did for The Shins, 500 Days of Summer is doing for The Smiths. I wonder if Zach Braff is getting a pension from The Shins. Whoever arranged the soundtrack for 500 Days should probably get a pension from The Smiths, assuming they'll get as big as The Shins did after Garden State. Just an opinion.
Songs to look up:
-> There is a light that never goes out
-> Please let me get what I want*
(Deftones have an interesting hard rock cover of this song. If you're looking for a new experience, I'd suggest listening.)

Paper Route.
Holy crap these guys are awesome. If you like MGMT, Empire of the Sun, and Passion Pit, you'll love these guys too. I haven't found a mediocre song by them yet.
Songs to look up:
-> Second chances
-> Are we all forgotten
-> Carousel
-> Wish*

Rogue Wave.
Confession: I kind of already knew this band before last night, but they're great and should be mentioned. I believe one of Kelsey's favorite songs is Eyes, too.
Songs to look up:
->Eyes*
->Everyday

Pixies.
These guys have been around a while, but they're new to me and maybe they'll be new to you too. They carry the retro sound too.
-> Here comes your man
-> Where is my mind*
(John P. Strohm does a way good cover)

Passion Pit.
Collin, my indie music sensai, introduced these guys to me. Just brilliant. I pretty much love every song by them too. They were recently featured on Urban Outfitters' LSTN album #4. They're loved by many a music blogger, and are arguably the first of the 80s throwback bands.
-> The Reeling* (i can't get enough of the intro)
-> Moth's wings
-> Sleepyhead

The Doves.
Their songs are just so dang catchy. Their music spans a lot of different sounds, which is a trait I always appreciate. I am excited for their future. I also enjoy his voice--kind of reminds me of Coldplay.
-> There goes the fear*
-> Caught in the storm
-> Catch the sun

Mumm-Ra.
Undeniably from Great Britain, and undeniably fantastic. They have rock roots, so I'm immediately sympathetic. I found myself humming to their music the first time I ever heard them. Basically my expectations are big for these guys.
-> Now or never
-> She's got you high*
-> Out of the question

Even though these bands are still relatively unheard of, I find it interesting that some of them have been blogged about since 2007. I didn't think I was that out of the loop, but clearly I am still a n00b and roughly 2 years behind.

*favorite songs

"It's contagious" - Regina Spektor

2009-08-01T23:40:00.000-06:00

I think it's time to re-evaluate my Top 10 list of movies. For the few of you readers out there that have been with me for some time, you'll remember that I once tried to create my list. However, tonight changed my Top 10. I'm not sure which movie to switch out, but just know my updated list will be coming soon.

There was a lot of hype about this movie, especially coming from me, which I knew wouldn't be a good sign if it was going to suck in any way. But behold, it did not. My expectations were met with full force of cinema glory, which is a rare occasion indeed. Not only was it a non-romance movie, incredibly original with plot and artistic license, it also made a deeper statement about the ongoing debate of fate vs. coincidence, a concept I've tried to debate myself. (Tried = keyword).
Aaron asked me an interesting question after the movie: "Do you think a movie means more to you if you see it during a certain period of your life?" My answer is indubitably. Would have my expectations been exceeded tonight had I not seen the movie right now? Probably not, actually. There is something about experience, especially in the present tense, that enables the viewer to better appreciate the plot, the characters, and how they're responding. The fact is, I felt like Tom Hanson was me. I felt like we could have been friends, that I could have sat with him on his bench and said, "Dude...I feel...you." I connected with his character. If I hadn't been able to relate to the story, I would have walked out of there thinking, "Yeah, that was cute." And I don't think I could have related to the movie as deeply at any other time than now. I'm convinced because of convenient timing the movie is now on my list. Coincidence?

Acknowledgments:
I'd like to thank Paige for knowing the people who insisted we come along, Joseph Gordan-Levitt for being so love-able, and of course the writers Michael Weber and Scott Neustadter for making a film about a story that is common yet hardly told. And thank you for the best random musical scene ever. And the best soundtrack. <-- On that note, can I just mention that I am starting to fall for Regina Spektor? I have always liked her in an acquaintance kind of way, but shoot...I feel we'll be non-lesbian lovers soon, her serenading me through my Sony speakers, and me listening with gooey delight.

"Crooked teeth" - Death Cab for Cutie

2009-08-01T00:52:00.001-06:00

Last week, I thanked my mom for paying for my tooth cavity to be filled. As she handed me the $100, she said, "That's for your tooth," and she walked out of the spare room. I said, "Thanks."

I turned back around to see the picture on the wall where me and my dad are sitting in front of a teal background. It's just our faces up there. Our cowlicks are the same, but his hair is white and mine is blonde. We're both wearing awful Christmas sweaters, which clash with the teal atmosphere we're floating in. I'm missing a tooth, his are stained yellow and crooked. I have all mine now; his are still the same. I'm wrapping my arms around his neck. Immediately the old primary song, "When Daddy Comes Home," fills my head and I'm humming the tune.

I thanked my mom for paying me back for my cavity.

"Let's paint the town" - Black Eyed Peas

2009-07-22T02:47:00.000-06:00

It's thunderstorming outside, creating ripples in the standing black puddles. It feels like you're breathing in wet, blue and green laundry in the middle of an extra hot drying cycle when you walk outside. It has come to my attention that clinging pink clothes and kinky, khaki-colored hair clash with sexy. I cared about Sexy once; but it left, and hasn't come back. I don't mind in blues anymore.

I bought silver snakeskin sandals, red lipstick, and a yellow raincoat. You know, one that Dick Tracy would have worn. Snakeskin and purple polka dots start to argue, but I grab my dotted patterned umbrella anyway. The Dick Tracy coat silences them, and my red lips smile.

I opened the back screen door, and made my way to the street to catch a taxi.

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good, good night.

"Life is opportunity" - Melody Gardot

2009-07-16T18:59:00.000-06:00

Top 3 comedians of 2008, in order:

1) Jerry Seinfeld

- he's been doing this a long, long time.

2) Chris Rock

- America: "Racist jokes and swearing are SO funny!"

3) Jeff Dunham

- who knew ventriloquism could be so lucrative.

^All banking over 30 mill. Who's laughing now?

Madea Goes to Jail: surprisingly funny paired with redeeming values. I probably give it a C.

Harry Potter was pretty good too. My favorite Harry Potter movie to date.

I saw the New Moon trailer. It will be better than Twilight simply because of the actor playing Jacob.

This is perhaps the best fashion news in a while.

Current novel: Love in the Present Tense by Catherine Ryan Hyde

Current poem: The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe

Current musician: Melody Gardot, "All That I Need is Love"

Current person: my cousin Jeff

Current congratulations: Tara and her new baby Ethan

Ben and Emily

And lastly, I have wondered about this for a long time, so pay attention banana lovers.

"Put aside all my pride" - Marie Digby

2009-07-09T14:56:00.000-06:00

I watched a boy from England sing "I'll Be" at the top of his lungs. It looked like he was out of breath the whole time during his slightly off tune solo, but his passion overwhelmed me.

I watched 4 girls sing PB&J a capella with perfect syncronized movements, dedicated to "Prince Charming," otherwise known as "Drew the Jew."

I watched the 4 manliest boys dressed in swimwear, complete with goggles and swimcaps, synchronize swim to Swan Lake. It was only 2 weeks later that I realized this particular skit was also a youtube phenomenon. At least in the Mormon chapter.

I watched a boy sing a song he wrote about breaking up while playing the guitar, and then dedicate it to his ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the audience. It wasn't angry - it was about getting back together. I actually teared up at the end. I saw that same boy dance every slow song that week.

I watched a girl play the ukulele while singing Stupid For You, which also moved me to tears. I liked her version better, and I've been inspired to learn the ukulele.

I watched a quartet of boys sing Billy Idol's For the Longest Time, each one with perfect pitch.

I watched a boy tell the story of Dora the Explora' and the Dragon's Cave, with actions, accents, and faces to match. That kid has a gift.

I watched a boy play the Blues on the piano and the harmonica. At the same time.

I watched another boy who called up a girl from the audience, told her to pick 4 notes on the piano, and created a song titled her name - right there on the spot.

I watched a boy who lost his father 2 years ago, play and dedicate the most amazing live drum solo I've ever seen to his dad and titled it, "The Best of Times." He was crying by the end. In front of 500 people.

-------

I listened to a girl talk about her back surgery, the infection that occurred because of it, and yelling, "Lord, just let me die," just before she passed out.

I listened to that same girl tell me how she knows for a fact there is an afterlife, with relatives ready to greet you.

I listened to another girl testify that in her darkest hours, as she was praying so intently, she swore an angel had to have been there in the room with her, as her spirit was lifted, her burden erased.

I listened to another girl tell me about her father giving her a priesthood blessing to calm her fear before she entered the surgery room, knowing she had a 7% chance of surviving. She knew at that moment the Atonement was real, and whatever happened with her life was in God's hands.

I listened to another girl tell me about her parent's divorce, how it ripped her family apart, how after praying for a year every night that her parents would get back together, last week they told her they were going to be sealed together again in the house of the Lord.

I listened to a boy say he's hated God his whole life until this week, that he now regrets blaming God for his trials, that now he was in fact grateful for them, and that he can't wait to serve a mission.

I listened to a girl tell me how all she wanted was her brother to know that she loved him, that God loved him, and when he bore his testimony on family and wanting to be like his big sister, I saw them embrace each other for 5 minutes crying on each others' shoulders.

I listened to a girl tell me she has been in and out of jail the last couple months and that it was through prayer that she felt the Spirit for the first time in years, and after that solemn moment in her cell, she wanted to start reading her scriptures again. And I was there to witness that she did.

------

It's hard to put into words all of the vignettes I've been able to witness these last 3 weeks. It's hard to explain how my heart has been softened, how I've been humbled to my knees, how I've come to a fuller knowledge that Heavenly Father knows exactly who I am and what I need, and you are and what you need. I didn't get to serve a mission for my church officially, but I have had the chance to at least see a handful of youth rededicate their lives to follow Christ. I have been struck with nothing short of awe at how sweet the fruit of missionary work is. If I never have another missionary experience again, I am comforted in knowing I made some sort of difference in a few lives over the last 3 weeks. The Lord has surely blessed me in ways I never would have known to ask for. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.

--For Meghan.

"The surface is everything" - Third Eye Blind

2009-06-10T00:36:00.000-06:00

Four years ago, I wrote this historical fiction short story for my freshman English class, my very first semester at college.

Phillips 66

We stopped. Right in time, too. My bladder, trying to contain itself in its dark atmosphere, couldn't hold on for much longer, and well, neither could I.
After all, we had been driving for six hours in rain. And rain can do something to a person. Not even the suckiest day at work, a boyfriend dumping you, or the news of your grandma dying can put you in the kind of depression that ongoing, gray, soak-to-the-bone rain gives you. On the other hand, rain was sort of a relief. Just like alcohol to festering wound.
My mother parked under the leaky roof of the Phillip's 66 gas station. Paul was asleep as usual, as he never is fully awake these days. I was just glad to get to some kind of waste hole. We were somewhere in between Gainesville and Orlando by now. The rain sounded like twenty fingers trying to tap the annoyance right out of us. It was only a broken stream from the rusted gutter above our Toyota Mini-van fiber glass roof.
After all, we were in the Florida desert. And when I say desert, I mean endless rows of the ugliest pine trees you've ever seen on either side of the flat roads. No cities, not many small towns, or even the occasional stranded hillbilly trailer. It just made the rain that much worse. Florida rain never seemed as happy as Kentucky rain. It seemed to me more serene, yet ominous, as if at any moment a hurricane could strike. Back home, the sun was usually out when it rained, and tornado season for Kentucky was only a month long.
I stumbled out only to find my flip flops half submerged under gritty brown water which pooled stagnant on the broken concrete. Yep, I thought to myself, typical middle-of-nowhere gas station. I couldn't help but watch my tip-toed steps, afraid of getting my freshly pedicured toes contaminated with the yuck. Careful not to trip over the stained garden hose sprawled over the only dry path to the door, a dark figure moved in my peripheral vision. I quickly turned, expecting to see another free drugs, sex and alcohol victim, but relaxed when I saw a shorter plump and drenched woman wearing an extra-long black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. She wiped the water streaming down her face coming from her tight, wet ponytail as she said in a thick country accent, ''Hi! This rain sure does need to stop, don't ya think? My children back home's probly' jumpin' all around in this.'' I looked at her, curious about who she thought I was. Maybe she thought I was all by myself, the driver of this vehicle that symbolized motherhood. Perhaps she thought I was older than a recent high school graduate who was forced to see her grandparents one last time before moving out west. Regardless, adults usually didn’t talk to me about their every day activities. Conversation directed to me consisted of small talk about high school and the latest interest in boys. Either way, I was too concentrated on her twangy accent to notice right then the content of her speech. Her voice seemed to be made up and from a different world. It didn't fit with the atmosphere, and quite frankly surprised me a little bit. With that accent, I would have expected her to be from the Hollars in Kentucky. Quick to respond and move on with reality, I chuckled the most light hearted laugh I could make my vocal chords create, and continued my journey to the bathroom. I opened the heavy door and immediately became another subject to second hand smoke. The man behind the counter, with a thick cigar half gone, gave me a look of pity while checking my feet to see why I was still tip-toeing. To be honest, I don't really know why. I could only imagine him thinking to himself, “My little five year old tiptoes around the house too.”
I went to the bathroom and all I could think of was how long I'd have to stay at Grandma Knight's house. The point of the whole trip down was to see her just in case she died while I was away at school. Naturally, we would have to see all the other relatives on the way down, who really didn't want us coming in the first place. My parents like to think that I don't know what's going on, but secretly I figured out what the rest of our family really thinks of us. Grandma Knight was the ring leader. She's had two mental breakdowns based on the fact we're not Catholic, and the rest of my dad's family follows suit. For reasons I've had since I was little, I dreaded once more stepping into that hurricane blown trailer. The praying hands, the glowing heart of Jesus, the smell of rotting carpet and photographs at least twenty years old did not ring my bell of fun. But, we went anyway because “it's a family obligation.” Whatever that meant.
I came bounding out of the mildew growing bathroom and out towards the car. With these thoughts in my mind, I felt I needed to shrug it off with a nice nap. My mother, strained from driving eight hours already was walking sluggishly towards the passenger side. “Martha, why don't you drive the rest of the way. I am too tired.” I could hardly believe my ears. My mother wants me to drive? Yeah right. The fact is she never wanted me to drive. When I got my permit, she never wanted to teach me, even after the constant begging of “Please mom, please?!” I wasn't experienced enough. “But mom, if you don't let me drive, how can I be experienced?”
“Just get in the car, Martha.”
Unbelievable.
After two years of driving, she was going to trust me in Florida while she slept no less, when she wouldn't trust me to drive down five blocks to the grocery on streets I'd known since I could see.
“Uh, mom? Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, hurry up, we've got five hours left.”
I hurried, but in my own sort of way. I casually grabbed the keys and slowly turned towards the front, contemplating why now.
Five hours later, after no snide comments about my driving, the radio, or the way I was chewing my gum, we arrived safely in time for dinner at my Grandpa Barr's. The sand dirt road took a nice toll on our Sienna yet again. The last time I saw that trailer, I was two years immature and going on my second grandparent funeral.
“Oh, I see you guys made it ok. How are you Martha? Didja drive? You're such a young lady now!” Grandpa always had a way of patronizing me. As a matter of fact, they all did.
The dinner was odd: spaghetti and meatballs the size of clementines. I wasn't used to Alice's recipes, and I'm not sure anyone else was either; Alice and Grandpa had only been married for almost a year now. I knew my mom wasn't comfortable, or my Aunt Linda. The two sisters pretty much disapproved the wedding completely, especially since it was six months after Grandma died. Paul and Grandpa just shoveled the food in silently, just like the rest of the men in the family do.
After the meal, we went to visit (great) Aunt Marie. She lived in the trailer next door, and Paul and I always slept over there. With Uncle Lenvul dead, and the rest of her family up north, she was all alone, and loved company. We talked and talked, just like old times.
“So how was graduation?”
“Oh, you know...” I hate telling the same story twenty times and then there’s the questions—kill me.
“Fallon is getting a divorce, did you know that? Yeah, her and Brian split up—says he's just too immature.” That was a shock. They got married at sixteen and twenty-one, and she's just now saying he's too immature.
Aunt Marie didn't have many people to talk to, especially since her sister died. Sometimes I thought if I weren't here she'd talk to the wall. I found myself in a deep conversation with her, which was surprising to me when all was said and done.
“Don't leave the light on when you go to sleep, and make sure to turn the TV off. But I'm sure you already knew that, honey, see you in the morning.” And with a kiss on the forehead, she disappeared into her dark hallway on to her bedroom. She left me in the dark with the TV flashing on the walls, making the same friendly shadows from the past. Her seventeen teddy bears still filled Uncle Lenvul's chair in the corner exactly where she had placed them five years ago. This was an unusual action on her part because normally, Aunt Marie would wait up and go to bed with me, no matter how late. One evening, she stayed up until two o'clock in the morning just to make sure Paul and I were safe. Not tonight. She left me to myself with the TV, the kitchen with the drawer full of snacks, and her unbelievably comfortable chair at my disposal. What was I to do? I felt liberated. Free from the same conversation that distant family members have every time they see each other, the awkwardness of laughing at old people jokes, and restraining the feeling of needing a glass of water or going to the bathroom just to get a break. I could avoid those awkward moments, and I can do those things now. In the dark. On my own time. As I sat contemplating which would come first, the bathroom or the glass of water, I realized that this wasn't the only different thing that occurred that night. Our conversation seemed a tiny bit more real. We had talked about life in general: marriage, school, and family. She shared things about our family I had only suspected until then, her marriage and the things she would have done different, and how she dealt with being an adult after leaving home for the first time. I couldn't help but think that old people should just write their lives down or better yet, tell the story on tape. Write all the gold nuggets of wisdom that will take the rest of us a lifetime to figure out. Aunt Marie and I were peers that evening.